Every Part of You
by poffy47
Summary: When Bella returns to Forks after being in Phoenix for the past 2 years, Edward has something important to tell her,something that will change their lives. How will she react to his news?   AH - EXB
1. Chapter 1

**Every part of you**

**Twilight belongs to Ms S Meyer, but this story belongs to me.**

**My first FFn - please be gentle with me. I hope to up-date every Friday.**

EPOV.

"Come on Edward we are going to be late" My sister Alice was screaming to me through my bathroom door whilst banging on it like a crazy woman.

"Alice if you have any thought for my sanity, please stop!" I replied as I carefully tried to pop in my contacts for the 3rd time this morning – but it just wasn't happening. "Why today of all days" I mumbled to myself. I knew it would be a problem, as my eyes had been really dry for a few days now. I even tried squirting some more eye drops in again, but to no avail...

Today was the day my best friend was coming back to Forks after an absence of 2 years – God have I missed her. We spoke at least twice a week on the phone, but it was not enough for me – I needed to see her, to touch her, to smell her – oh did I also mention that she was my soul mate?

"Edward if you don't get out of there like now, I'm coming in" My pixie of a sister was shouting. "I'm coming" I said as I opened the door, passed the crazy chick and made my way down stairs.

"Whoa someone is in a foul mood this morning" Emmett, my bear of a brother said as I stormed into the kitchen, pulled out a chair and started to pour myself some juice. "Shut it Em, I'm really not up for your damn jokes, ok?" I shouted across the table. Emmett grabbed a pop tart from the side and started to laugh, "It can't be that bad bro – Bells is coming home later" he smirked at me. "Can't it" I growled at him. "Today of all days I have to wear these damn glasses – I fell asleep just as the sun was coming up this morning and forgot to take out my contacts, now I have to wear these things, which feel weird" I moaned. "Come on Edward, Bella has seen you in glasses since you were 4 year old, what's the problem?"

"When I was 4, dear brother, I was thought of as a cutie in my little glasses, but now I'm 16 and still wearing them I look like a geek" I replied. "Don't go all emo Edward; you have always been a geek. Anyway, Bella will still fall into your arms when she sees you - literally" he laughed, picked up his keys and left – to pick up his girlfriend Rose, no doubt.

Alice appeared 2 minutes later with mom "Very dapper sweetie" mom winked, "meeting anyone special?" "Very mature mom" I said through gritted teeth, but had to smile at her.

"Come on dear brother, your lady awaits" Alice said skipping out of the door with my car keys in her tiny pixie hands – Oh how I wished my large hands were around her neck!

"Bye mom" I said kissing her on the head. "Have fun my darling son, I know you have waited a long time for this day, go and enjoy" Mom replied as she held my face in her hands. "Ok mom, see you a little later"

"Are you excited Edward?" Alice asked. "Nervous is more like it Ali" I mumbled. "Why, you and Bella are meant to be together big brother". "What if she has found someone else while living with Renee?" I stuttered. "You know that is not true Edward, Bella loves you just like you love her – tell me what's really bugging you brother dear" Alice whispered.

"Alice look" As I pointed to the monstrosities perched on my nose. "Stop the car Edward" Alice said as she started to stroke my hand lightly. I pulled into the kerb, turned off the engine and waited.

"Edward, how long have you known Bella?" "You know how long Alice" I growled. "And how well do you know her" Alice smirked. "Better than I know myself – where is this conversation going Pixie?" "Edward you don't know her at all" she barked, "because if you did you would not be getting in this state over something that is irrelevant" I slumped further down in my seat and sighed.

"Does she know Edward" Alice asked. "No" I said, knowing what she meant. "Tell her Edward" Alice whispered. "When the time is right little sis".

"Come on Edward lets go meet your girl" Alice giggled. "You got that wrong Alice" I replied "She is not just my girl, she is my love, my life, my everything" I smirked. And with that I put the Volvo in to gear and set off.

**A/N**

**Well what did you think? Not the best chapter, but it does get better - believe me!**


	2. Chapter 2

**Sorry for the delay in submitting the 2nd chapter, but RL has been crazy.**

**I hope you enjoy this story as the plotline is something I know about.** **I will tell all at the end of this chapter**

**BPOV **

When you meet your soul mate, you know! I met Edward Cullen on our first day at school. There was this cute little bronze haired, green eyed boy with glasses perched on the end of a perfect nose.

**11 years ago:**

"What's your name?" I asked.

"Edward" he mumbled in reply.

"Will you sit next to me Edward" I said taking his hand in mine, walking toward the rows of desks – not really giving him a chance to say no. As we sat down, Edward turned his face to mine and smiled. That was when I knew we would always be best friends – forever.

Over the next few weeks me and Edward would sit together, share our snacks and lunches, play and whisper – we did everything together.

"Today I'm going to ask you to write down 3 things nobody knows about you – then pass it to the boy or girl you would like to read them" Mrs Cope said to our class.

"I will give my secrets to you Bella" Edward whispered in my ear. I giggled, knowing he would get mine too.

"Times up children" Mrs Cope said. Being only 5 year old, we had some help from the class helper and Mrs Cope herself.

Edward passed me his little piece of paper and it read:

# 1. I am a little scared of my big brother – he is very loud.

# 2. I hate wearing glasses, but if I don't I can't see good.

# 3. I'm going to marry Bella Swan.

I looked up at Edward and smiled – knowing in a few minutes he would read the note I had gave to him.

Edward started to read my things out loud:

# 1. I sleep with the light on.

# 2. I'm scared of clowns.

# 3. I love Edward Cullen.

Edward took my hand and said "I love you Bella, you're my bestest friend"

**Present day:**

"Bella, will you stop pacing up and down, you're giving me whiplash" My dad, Charlie was growling from the kitchen.

"Dad it's been like, forever since I've seen him – I'm really excited" I growled.

It had been 2 years since I kissed Edward Cullen goodbye. On that awful day I had to go and live with my mom in Phoenix. Dad had been ill for a while and at the age of 14, mom; in her wisdom thought it best I stay with her and Phil - my step-dad, as she thought I was too young to fend for myself while dad was in hospital.

The Cullens had offered to let me stay with them, but my mom thought it would be a fantastic opportunity for me to experience home and school life in Phoenix – that experience was the worst time of my life. I really thought my heart had broken in two when I had to leave Forks and Edward. Even though we spoke every other day, I missed Edward more than the air that I breathe.

"OMG there here dad" I screamed throwing open the door and tripping down the steps of our porch. There he was, standing in front of me with that lopsided grin that I loved.

"Edward, your here" I said as I jumped into his arms, crying with happiness.

"Bella, my Bella, I've missed you so much and now your back, I'm never letting you go" Edward whispered in my ear as he was kissing and nipping my neck.

"Am I invisible" Alice was saying, while trying to push me and Edward apart.

"Alice, I have missed you more than you would ever know". I laughed whilst trying to calm her down with a hug as she was jumping all over me. Alice is my best girl friend, even though she is a year younger, she has more insight to life than anyone I know.

"Oh Bells I have missed you too, and I'm so glad you are back with us" Alice whispered in my ear. "It is so nice to see my dear emo brother over there laughing for a change" She giggled, but I could tell there was something she was not telling me.

"Can I have my girlfriend back please Alice" Edward was saying, but I really couldn't tell you much else that he was saying – I was in my own little world, thinking how happy I was to be back with the people I love the most.

"Come on let's get inside before we freeze" I said pulling Edward into the house.

"Hello Chief Swan" Edward and Alice said at the same time – they can be really freaky like that.

"Hi kids, nice to see you" Charlie replied.

"Some pizza & garlic bread is in the kitchen Bells, I'm off to the station, I should be back by 11 tonight. If you go to the Cullen's, please be back before then – ok" Charlie grumbled.

"She won't be late sir, I will make sure of that" Edward answered my dad before I had the chance. Charlie mumbled some reply that I couldn't understand as he headed for the door.

After eating, catching up on all the gossip, and me and Edward kissing, we made our way to see my other 'family', the Cullen's.

"Bella, I'm so pleased to see you again. It has been a very long time hunny" Esme, Edwards' mom said as she literally dragged me into the large kitchen and sat me at the table.

All the family were there and so was Alice's boyfriend Jasper and Emmett's girlfriend Rosalie. I had known Jasper since I was 5 and I had met Rose just before I left for Phoenix.

"Welcome home Belly Bear" Emmett whooped as he lifted me off the chair and started to hug me.

"Can't breathe Em" I tried to say but he was holding me so tight I really couldn't talk at all.

"Put her down Emmett" Edward laughed and pulled me back into my seat next to him.

We enjoyed a dinner that Edwards dad Carlisle had cooked - steak with corn and mashed potatoes, for dessert we had chocolate cake, which was thanks to Alice. We all had tales to tell, so we all stayed at the table long after dinner was finished just laughing and enjoying each other's company. I actually felt like I had never been away.

"So Edward, I hear you are changing your major when you go to college" Rose said looking at him. With that all hell broke loose – Emmett glared at Rose, Esme looked like she was going to cry and Edward, well he slowly got up from his chair, walked over to Emmett and swiftly punched him on the nose. Then he was gone.

"What the hell just happened" I asked?

"I so sorry Em" Rose cried "It just slipped out"

"I'll go and speak to him and see if I can calm him down" Esme said rising from her chair.

"Carlisle, please look at Emmett's nose" Rosalie sobbed.

"I'm ok dad, just make sure Edward is ok and please tell him I'm sorry" Emmett mumbled as he tried to stop his nose from bleeding all over Esme's white table cloth.

"Will someone please tell me what's going on" I screamed. I was now really worried and to tell the truth quite angry. Everyone that was still in the room stopped what they were doing and stared at me. "Why did Edward punch you Emmett?" I asked, trying to keep my emotions under control. "Only 5 minutes ago we were all sitting here like civilised people and then BANG all hell breaks loose, I would really like some answers. Alice, Jasper, someone, anyone please tell me" I begged.

"Bella, it is something Edward has to tell you, not us" Alice replied as she put her arm around me trying to calm me down.

Just as my tears started to flow again Esme returned to the kitchen. Her eyes were red and puffy from crying and she looked defeated.

"Bella, go to him, he needs you" Esme choked as she held my hand and said "Just listen to what he has to say Bella and them let him know you will love him whatever the outcome - please"

Walking up those stairs seemed to take forever, but I eventually got to his room.

"Edward, can I come in" I asked trying to sound in control – it was not working.

"Yes Bella" Edward replied.

Walking through the door of his room, I noticed not a thing had changed since I had last been here. Edward was sitting on the couch by the window with his head resting on his knees. As I moved close to him he lifted his head up and reached for my hand.

"I'm sorry for ruining your first night home Bella" Edward said through his sobs.

"You didn't ruin anything baby" I whispered as I sat on his lap and kissed his beautiful lips. "I'm just confused as to what happened down there not 15 minutes ago, tell me please Edward"

"Bella" was all he got out before he held on to me so tight I could hardly breathe and then he sobbed and sobbed.

After a time he started to calm down and the tears stopped flowing. I put my hand under his chin and lifted his face so I could see him. What I saw made my heart break; his eyes were so puffed up and red raw that I just to make this mad situation go away.

"Edward, look at me, I'm here for you, please tell me what is wrong" I said as I tried to take his glasses from his face.

"No Bella leave them on" He shouted as he stood up from the couch and started to pace the room whilst pulling at his hair.

"What the hell Edw.." Was all I managed to get out of my mouth before he started to talk again?

"Bella, do you notice anything different about me?" He asked.

"No, nothing, why?" I replied not knowing where this conversation was going.

"Not even my glasses?" He calmly said.

"Well they are a different style, but it has been 2 years so obviously you would have new frames" I answered. He seemed agitated at my reply.

"Do you remember when we were at school and we had to tell each other 3 things that nobody knew about us?"

"Erm, yeah I remember, but what does that have to do with this?" I replied getting rather angry with him.

"Can we play it again – now?" He laughed bitterly.

"If it makes this situation clearer to me, yes we can" Was all I managed to say.

He took out a note pad and two pencils from his desk, handed one piece of paper and a pencil.

"Write down 4 things this time Bella and I will do mine" He said.

5 minutes later we had both finished writing and had passed our notes to each other.

"I will read your list fist Bella, is that ok?" He smirked.

"Ok" I replied.

"Bella's 4 things" He read from the paper.

# 1. I'm still scared of clowns

# 2. I really don't like to see Edward this upset.

# 3. I don't know whats going on today.

# 4. I love Edward Cullen more than my own life.

"I can't believe you are still scared of clowns" He laughed.

"Now its your turn to read Bella"

"Edwards 4 things" I repeated what he had said 2 minutes earlier.

# 1. I'm going to kill Emmett Cullen.

# 2. Bella Swan is still my bestest friend and love her so much.

# 3. I can't be a Doctor any more – see below

# 4. I am losing my vision.

I had to read it over again, because it didn't make sense – well the last 2 items on the list anyway. Edward has always worn glasses. This can't be true!

I can remember calling Edward's name, then hitting the floor.

**It my seem slow at the moment, but it does gather speed. **

**This story is very close to my own life, but without Edward Cullen lol. All the ups & downs of being a very progresive myopic person. Sometimes hysterically funny and sometimes heart breaking. Please read and review. x**


	3. Chapter 3

**Sorry it took so long to get this chapter up, but have been having trouble trying to upload.**

** At the moment I'm looking at approx 30 chapters for this little story - could be more.**

**Disclaimer: I only own this story, not the wonderful characters.**

**More in the A/N at the bottom.**

"Dad is she ok"

I could hear Edward asking Carlisle while I was still trying to figure out why the hell I was laying on the floor and why my head hurt?

"She's fine Edward. Her pulse is beginning to slow down and she is coming round now, she has a small bump on her head.

"Bella sweetheart how are you feeling" Carlisle asked.

"I'm fine thanks - I think!"

"Edward" I cried as I began to panic as I could not see him.

"I'm here. Oh Bella I'm so sorry" Edward was whispering in my ear as he cradled me in his arms.

"What happened?. Why am I on the floor? I stared at him waiting for some kind of explanation.

"You fainted sweetheart" trying not to laugh.

"So you think its funny do you Edward Cullen?"

No Bella" he smiled sadly. "Its far from funny"

As I sat on the floor, still in his arms, I was trying to figure out what was happening. I looked around the room and saw that Esme was sitting in on Edwards bed with the look of concern on her face, but there was no sign of the rest of the family.

"Esme, maybe you can inform me what the hell is going on here. I know it sounded rude, but this situation was really freaking me out"

"Bella dear, once Carlisle is certain you are ok, Edward will explain everything to you - won't you son" Esme said sternly as she looked at him.

"Yes mom" He replied rather sheepishly.

"Are you sure you are feeling ok Bella" Carlisle asked.

"Sure" I nodded with earnest.

"Come Esme , we should leave these two to talk"

With that they both left Edwards room leaving us two alone.

"Please Edward tell me what's going on" I almost begged him.

He helped me from the floor and lead me to the bed, he held my hand in his and after taking a deep breath he said.

"Bella, my vision is rapidly deteriorating"

"Uh" For a person who loved English and read constantly it was a rather lame reply, but it was all I could manage. Then something clicked in my head and it was all coming back to me, the little piece of paper, the new secrets and Edwards confession. I was going to say more, but Edward spoke before I could.

"I will eventually end up being registered as legally blind and will have very little useful vision".

"What does that mean Edward", I asked, squeezing his hand so he would realise that I really did need to understand what was happening and for him to continue. As he turned to look at me, it was then that I realised that his glasses were in fact stronger than the last pair I saw him wear, but strangely enough they made his eyes look incredibly sexy…

"If you have a couple of hours to spare, I'll explain it all to you", he laughed.

"Edward stop stalling and tell me already", I whispered.

"Being legally blind Bella or having low vision is defined as a visual impairment that is not corrected by glasses or contact lenses. I will more than likely end up having some form of surgery, as my myopia will be so extreme that my retinas will probably end up detaching, and that could lead to total blindness".

He looked up to me with tears in his eyes and held my hand to his lips and started to kiss it gently.

"Carry on Edward" I was now getting a little agitated with his reluctance to tell me everything.

"There's more to it than that Bella, it will interfere with my ability to perform everyday activities. Simple things that I take for granted now, like, reading without any help from a visual aid, discriminating fine detail and colour, or difficulty seeing in lowlight conditions and driving. It will progress to the stage that causes orientation and mobility problems, such as having difficulty seeing curbs/steps, not being able to see in the dark and I will have to use a guide cane to help get around - only at night at first, but most probably I will need it on a permanent basis"

I tried to get a word in, but before I could speak he continued.

"Before all this happens and before you say it Bella – it will happen. I will have to stop wearing my contact lenses once my vision gets above a certain level or my eyes get too dry, my glasses will be so thick they will look hideous. Can you truly handle the fact that I will look disabled - or that I will eventually _**BE **_disabled Bella?"

He sat there looking at the floor not saying a word, just waiting for my reaction to all he had said, but I had a feeling he wasn't quite finished yet, so before he could start talking again I spoke.

"Edward, I love you for you, which means every part of you. Whether your eyes don't work the way they should or not. Whether you have to wear thick glasses, or you grow another head. Do you understand me Edward?"

"Yes, Bella, I do, but please listen, I really need for you to completely understand the consequences of this"

He whispered, touching my face gently. He then stood up and started pacing the floor trying to calm himself a bit - I think, he sat down again and continued to speak.

" After you moved to Phoenix I started to notice that I couldn't focus on some things that were not up close. Often, in class I was struggling to see what the teacher was putting on the board. I even asked to change seats so I would be at the very front of the classroom, which, for me was quite embarrassing. If I pushed my glasses up close to my eyes, things came into focus a bit more. Mom noticed that I was having problems at home too, so she made an appointment with my eye doctor to have a eye test"

"If I remember correctly you only had your annual eye test just a few weeks before I left for Phoenix Edward" I commented.

"Exactly!" replied sarcastically.

"Anyway, it was during that test that Dr Stanley became concerned about my poor vision, due to the fact that my prescription had increased by -0.50 dioptres in the last 3 months. He ordered more tests to be carried out at the hospital and that's when it was discovered that I had Chronic Progressive Myopia and was placed into a high myopia study group at a local hospital".

"Come again!" Chronic what?" I was really not understanding all the medical terms he was talking about.

"Chronic Progressive Myopia Bella. It means that where most people with near-sightedness lose their vision gradually over time and then it slows down as they get older. Mine, however, just progresses rapidly until I have very little useful vision left. Apparently I had inherited it from my paternal grandfather, although his was not as severe as mine, he just thought he was very near-sighted. It has skipped dad and as you know, Emmett doesn't have any visual problems; big mouth syndrome, yes, but no eye problems" He smirked.

" So I was the lucky one to get the dodgy genes" He laughed bitterly.

"What about Alice" I asked.

"It only affects the male off spring Bella, so Ali is all clear, but there's more babe"

He said as he took my face in his hands and looked me in the eye for the first time since we started this conversation.

"Me and my parents were warned by my doctor that by the time I reached 25, I would more than likely be legally blind. I was also cautioned not to take part in any form of rough physical activity, as the risk of retinal detachment is very high, as I mentioned before; so most sports are out of the question. I also suffer from severe migraines at times, but the most important piece of information we received was that it would most probably be passed on to any male child I father.

He waited, holding his breath for me to say something, so I did.

"Pass me my cell please Edward, I need to let Charlie know I'm staying here tonight" I said trying to hold back the tears that were threatening to flow.

"Bella you don't have to do that, we can talk tomorrow" He replied.

"What and have you think I'm walking out on you - not a chance mister" I smiled. This was going to be a long night…

**A/N: This is, as I said before quite close to my heart. I have Chronic Progressive Myopia and not that far away from being registered legally blind. My dodgy genes were passed from my maternal grandma. The gene, thankfully has skipped my children - for which I will be eternally grateful.**

**Next chapter should be up before Christmas. Please try and review - it would make my day.**

**x**


	4. Chapter 4

**Sorry for the delay of this chapter, but Chritmas & New Year got in the way. **

**Just to let you all know, this story has not been beta'd - so all mistakes are mine.**

**Disclaimer: I wished I had written The Twilight saga, but I didn't - the lovely Ms meyer did. I'm just playing with her characters.**

**Anyway on with the story.**

**Bella's POV**

Telling my dad that I was spending the night at the Cullen's was not easy. He ranted and raved about me only just being home and I nearly caved in had it not been for Esme coming to my rescue. Her and Carlisle had heard my heated conversation with Charlie from downstairs. Taking the cell from my hand she spoke.

"Charlie, it's Esme can I have a word please". Her voice was thick and still sounded rough from all the crying she had been doing earlier.

With that she continued to tell Charlie the events of the evening. As I could only hear her side of the conversation, I was getting a little anxious and Edward was getting truly distressed knowing that another person would now know of his eye condition. After what seemed like forever she thanked Charlie and passed me back my cell.

"Dad, I mumbled, do you now understand why I want to stay".

"Yes Bells, I do. Now go and talk to Edward and I will see you tomorrow"

"Thanks dad - I love you"

"Right back at ya kiddo"

My dad was never one to show his emotions, but I knew he loved me and wanted me to be happy, so that reply was pretty sentimental coming from him.

After I had finished my call to Charlie, I joined Edward who was now laying on the bed with his hands behind his head , glasses off and his eyes closed.

"Edward sweetheart, are you ok?" I whispered.

"I am now you're here beside me". He replied taking my hand in his own.

"Is there anything else I need to know Edward"

"Only that I love you more than my own life, but you already know that, don't you?"

"Yes Edward, I do, but just so you know, I love you more" I said as I kissed his beautiful lips.

"Not possible, my Bella" He laughed.

It was the first time he had properly laughed for almost 3 hours and I was so relieved to hear it. I was here where I belong, in my Edward's arms, and we were happy, for that I thank God.

We stayed wrapped in each others arms for what seemed like forever before either one of us spoke - if I had known that in the space of a few minutes a persons mood could change, I would never have said a word for the rest of the night.

"I'm going to change into the sweat pants and t-shirt that Alice left for me, I whispered, is that ok with you"

"Yeah that sounds good, you can use the bathroom to get changed if you want, while I will change in here" He stumbled out a reply, still laying on the bed with his eyes firmly shut.

"Edward, what's wrong? Please tell me"

Within seconds and without a word he was sitting up and searching the bed with his hands, trying, I assumed to find his glasses.

"Edward, just open your eyes and look for them" I said as firmly as I could, as now he was freaking me out.

"I cant" He hissed, through gritted teeth.

"What, you cant open your eyes", I laughed, thinking he was joking, but I stopped abruptly as I heard him say.

"Of course I can open my eyes Bella, but what would be the point, I still wouldn't be able to find them. I cant see anything but blurry shapes without them and its just going to get worse with time"

"What?" It was a rhetorical question, but I had to say it.

"That's what I have been trying to tell you for most of the fucking night, but you seem to think its funny" He spat with anger, throwing the said glasses he had eventually found, across the room.

I was so shocked by his outburst that, without a word, I picked up my nightclothes and walked into the bathroom, slamming the door behind me. I looked at myself in the mirror and was not surprised to see tears falling down my face. I rested against the wash basin and just let them continue to fall - I couldn't even be bothered to change clothes.

What the hell just happened out there? I didn't deserve to be shouted at by him - or did I? Did he think I was not taking all this information seriously? Did he think I was laughing at him? Couldn't he take in that I understand his total frustration at the loss of something that we all take for granted, because I do understand. Does he not know that we are in this together? Maybe I not make it clear enough earlier?

As I tried to calm down and make myself look a little more presentable so I could go to him and let him know all of these things, I heard him knocking on the door.

"Bella, please let me in, I need to talk to you. I need to tell you I'm sorry" He sounded defeated.

Slowly I opened the door and what I saw broke my heart in two. My Edward was standing there, tears streaming down his face, his beautiful Emerald green eyes were red rimmed and he was desperately trying to focus on my face. As I looked down to take his hands in mine, I noticed he was holding something, that not 10 minutes ago were his glasses. Now they were broken at the nose bridge and had only one thick lens left in them.

Placing the glasses in one of my hands and his hand in the other, I walked with him to the bed and made him sit down while I tried to salvage what was left of the broken, twisted frame. After finding the other lens over by the door, I just stood there thinking - where do I start. After a few minutes I realised that there was no hope of fixing them.

"Edward, I'm sorry but these are beyond repair. Do you have a spare pair? I mumbled. There is no way in heaven I can fix these"

He took the destroyed frames and held them so close to his eyes that I thought he would poke one out. Finally looking up he said.

"There broken"

"Like I said, I replied rather smugly, why I did that I don't know. Do you have another pair"

"Not in here, my spare pair are in the dashboard compartment of my car. He replied still trying to stifle his sobs. Don't worry Bella, I will get them in the morning"

"Oh no you won't buddy, I need you to be able to see me while we talk"

With that I was off the bed, out of the door and running down the stairs, even taking two at a time, which was quite a feat for me.

"Bella, is everything ok up there? How is Edward". Emmett asked as I rushed past him.

"Everything will be fine once I get his spare glasses from his car" I said rushing out of the Cullen's front door. I must have looked like a mad woman, but I would explain it all to them later as I really didn't have time right now.

Once inside Edwards car, I fumbled about in the dark until I found the glasses in their protective case, I then flew back inside the house and up the stairs while telling Edward's stunned family that I had this under control - at least I hoped I did!.

When I stepped back into the bedroom, Edward was still sitting on the bed holding what was left of the mangled mess that was once his glasses.

"Hey you, I smiled, not knowing if he could see my smile or not. Here put these on" I said as I took the broken pair from his hands and replacing them with the pair that actually resembled glasses .

Edward placed the glasses on his face and adjusted them, blinking rapidly, he looked up at me. I knew when he had finally been able to focus properly as his body started to relax and held out his hand for me to take. He then pulled himself up so he was standing directly in front of me, staring at me through the thick lenses he dropped his hands from mine and replaced them gently on either side of my face.

"I'm sorry Bella, I never meant to shout or curse, but I felt at that moment you were not taking this matter seriously enough and I needed for you to understand just how bad my eyes are. Look at me Bella, let me show you just how much I can see without these God damn glasses"

With that he removed them and all at once I noticed just how much bigger his eyes look when he doesn't have them on, the rapid movement of them as he tries to focus without them, how much he squints when he looks at things close up, the pressure marks on the sides of his nose. But as I look at him standing there, so vulnerable, I realise just how sexy and beautiful he is and how much I absolutely adore him - to me he is perfection.

The sound of his voice suddenly brings me out of my thoughts.

"I can see you if you are this close. He stated still holding my face in his hands. But if you move back just a little, Bella you start to get foggy around the edges, if you move back a foot more, you start to completely blur. To see anything clearly without them on I have to hold things really close to my eyes, which I try not to do very often as that gives me a raging headache".

He replaced his glasses and waited until he started to focus clearly again before he continued.

"In a few more years Bella, I will not have enough useful vision to able to drive, even with glasses and that make me mad. I get so frustrated with myself for not being able to do things that should come naturally, and sometimes I get angry that this has happened to me. But please believe me when I say I didn't mean to make you feel bad on purpose, I just needed for you to know"

If I didn't love him as much as I do I would have screamed at him for thinking I was taking this lightly and making it into some sort of joke. I would let him know just how much he hurt me later, but right now I couldn't bring myself to add more oil to this already blazing fire, so I replied the only way I could - I kissed him.

"Umm, I really feel like I don't deserve to be forgiven so easily, but I just can't resist your kisses baby" He mumbled as we continued to kiss.

"You are far from forgiven mister, but that can wait for another time" I smiled into his kisses.

After a few more minutes kissing I knew we still had to deal with the elephant that was in the room. So reluctantly I pulled away from his embrace.

"Edward please sit down, there are a few things that I need to say"

Begrudgingly he did as I asked, which suprised me.

"First off I want, no I _**need**_ to let you know how I feel about all this, ok"

"Ok, but can I just say something first please Bella".

"No Edward, what I want you to do is listen to me with no interruptions - do you understand?"

"Yep" Was his only reply.

"Today has been a lot for me to take in Edward, but I have understood everything you have told me. I need you to listen and listen good to what I have to say because I find that repeating myself is a total waste of time - apart from telling you everyday that I love you".

He smiled and nodded in agreement to my statement. Oh how I love that smile of his.

"We are in this _**together - **_by that I mean you & me - is that clear enough for you Edward?".

He just raised his eyebrows over his glasses and grinned.

So I continued.

"I will be by your side every minute of everyday on this journey. A journey, that I have no doubt in my mind at all, will sometimes be heartbreaking, sometimes demoralising and sometimes just plain frustrating, but hopefully most of the time it will be happy, loving and fulfilling, but we will get through it together"

When I had finished my ramblings, I realised I had been pacing the floor, because I ended up standing by the side of his bed looking down at him.

"Thank you Bella. He said taking my hand. You don't know how many times I have been afraid of your reaction to all of this - that is why I never mentioned anything while you were in Phoenix, I needed us to be face to face when I told you. After I found out exactly what was happening to my sight, I cried myself to sleep most nights wondering how you would take the news. Thinking you wouldn't want to see me anymore, but as always you surprised me with your compassion, common sense and genuine love. You make me feel calm, at ease with myself and loved. And I know you will give me the confidence that I need to feel like a normal human being - not someone who is not complete. Bella, I don't think I will ever truly come to terms with the fact that I'm losing my vision or all the complications that come with the diagnosis, but with you at my side I know I will cope"

The only words I managed to mumble before the tears started to flow were 'thank you Edward'. Both trying to calm down, we sat holding hands for a while, before I said.

"Well I think we now both know each others feelings on all of this - don't you?" I chuckled as I started to laugh, trying to lighten things up a bit.

"Yep, we sure do baby". He laughed with me.

"Edward do you know how it makes me feel when you call me baby"

"No, but please do tell Miss Swan, I'm intrigued"

"It makes my heart explode and my toes curl" I giggled.

After both of us had changed into our nightclothes we climbed into Edwards bed and snuggled down under the covers. As I lay in his arms I realise just how much I have missed this; the closeness, the cuddles, the kisses and the feeling of utter completeness I have when I am with him.

Some people say that young love never lasts, but we are soul-mates - 'Always have been, always will be' and I know deep in my heart we will be together forever.

**A/N - Next chapter will jump ahead a few months, will be a lot more fun and we meet the Cullens again. I have had many hits for this story, but only 2 reviews, so if you could try and take a few minutes just to let me know your opinions - good or bad, it would make my day.**

**I also looking for a pre-reader or beta to give me some much needed advice on this story - does anyone fit the bill?**

**Until next x**


	5. Chapter 5

**Here we go on with chapter 5 - hope you think its worth the wait...**

**A/N at the bottom.**

**Edwards POV**

4 months, my Bella has been back 4 months and I have loved ever minute of it - apart from school.

School has been a bit of a rollercoaster for me since Bella came back - but the first day back after she came home was a complete and utter nightmare. My eyes were still rejecting my contacts, so of course I had to wear my God damn glasses. I hadn't worn them for school since I was 12 years old, that was when I finally persuaded my parents to get me contacts. Bella, of course told me I looked 'sexy' in my glasses, but I still felt uncomfortable wearing them for school. This would be for many reasons, but I will name just a few:

**1. **As they are a distance from my eyes, the focus is not as clear as when I'm wearing contact lenses, so sometimes I have to hold things a little closer to my eyes to see properly. My family are used to seeing me do this, but I was not ready for the idiots at school too.

**2. **They are quite heavy and have a tendency to slip down my nose so I'm constantly pushing them back up, which makes me look like a total moron.

**3. **Because they are a lot thicker than the last pair I wore for school everyone will notice.

**4. **They make my eyes look really small and that freaks some people out - believe me.

**5. **Because now not only am I the guy that can't do gym, I'm also the guy with ugly, thick lensed glasses - way to go Edward…

**And 6. **I know that I'm going to end up punching Newton in his annoying face for winding me up.

_** EPOY**_

**Four months previous**

Well, as predicted Newton was the first person to notice the things that were perched on my nose. Me and Jasper had just left Bella and Alice at the door of FHS.

"Hey Cullen, you must have really good eyesight to be able to see through those glasses man," He laughed as he pushed passed by me to join the rest of his snarky crew.

"Drop dead Newton" I growled, striding over towards him only to be stopped by Jasper.

"Edward, just ignore him bud, you know, he just ain't worth it" Jasper whispered pulling me to our first class of the day.

So the day continued with strange looks, whispers and people being darn right rude - oh how I wanted that day to end.

Bella and the rest of my family met me in the canteen for lunch, which was the highlight of the day - so far. I proceeded to tell them about the horrendous morning I had to endure - little did I know it was going to get a whole lot worse.

Because I couldn't participate in any gym lessons - this is due to the fact that any knock to my head could lead to a retinal detachment, I'm usually in the library while my classmates are attending gym lessons, and that day was no exception.

It was nearly empty and really very quite when I got in there, just after lunch. I sat with my back to the window, being in natural light was really helpful to me. As I didn't have any homework to do I opened the book of poems Bella had given me and began to read. After a while I could feel a headache coming on, so I took off my glasses, placed them on the table and closed me eyes for a few minutes to give them a much needed rest. I must have been like that for a bit longer than anticipated as the next thing I knew I could hear voices. I started to reach for my glasses, but couldn't find them. I only started to panic when I heard the voice that made my blood boil.

"Lost something Cullen"

Yep, my worst nightmare, the dynamic duo - Mike Newton & Lauren Mallory. Every emotion ran through my head in that one moment when I realised that one of them had taken my glasses from the table.

"Newton, stop playing stupid, you fuck wit and give them back" I said trying not to sound as panicked as I felt. I didn't want to let on that I really couldn't see him without them, but I could feel my eyes moving rapidly as I was trying to focus on his face - big give away Edward.

"Not a hope in hell, I'm not finished with them or you and your abnormal eyes yet, Cullen". He stated, moving so close to me that I could literally feel his breath on my face.

With that I made my move, pulling back my arm and aiming straight for the blur that stood in front of me. I managed to make some kind of contact on the side of his face before he moved, but it had made him drop my glasses on the floor. So as quick as I could, I bent to pick them up, but I was to late - his sidekick, Lauren, trod on them.

"What are you gunna do now, you blind freak, maybe Bella will now see just what a loser you really are" He whispered in my ear as I sat on the floor holding what was once my glasses.

My hands were now shaking so much through anger and pure panic. As I started to stand up he continued speaking.

"I bet you can't even see enough to go find her without these freaky things" He laughed as he grabbed them from my hands, turned and run from the library laughing about my 'revolving eyes' with that bitch Mallory.

I made my way back to the chair, where I had left my things, grabbing my backpack I rifled through it trying to find my spare glasses, when, I remembered I had broken them in temper a few nights ago, the night Bella stayed at my house and the new pair were not going to be ready until tomorrow. My head was pounding and I was now really in panic mode, trying not to cry like a girl, I pulled my cell from my bag to do the only thing I could think of - I was going to call my mom.

As I was about to press the number that I had programmed in my phone for mom, I heard the door slam open, thinking it was Newton again, I put the cell in my pocket, balled my hands into fists and waited until he got closer, not knowing what I would do next, but what I heard was music to my ears.

"Edward, are you ok hunny?".

Thankfully It was Bella and she was crying, but when she threw her petite arms around my neck we both started to relax.

"I was so worried when Tyler told us what had happened. He said he was passing by the library and saw you on the floor with Mike and Lauren taking your glasses from you. Edward, I was so angry at what I was hearing and really wanted to hurt them, but needed to find you first" She sobbed.

"It's ok babe - look I'm fine" I said smiling, hoping she would believe me and calm down.

It was times like this that I really felt useless and I only hoped that life would not always be this way. Shaking that thought from my mind I threw my bag over my shoulder, wrapped my arm around Bella's waist and said..

"Just take me home please"

_** EPOY**_

**Present day**

Thinking back to that day made me chuckle to myself a little. Remembering how mom was so angry, that she ripped a new one in Principle Flynn for letting it happen and threatening Mr Newton Snr with a lawsuit unless he severely disciplined his 'Moronic bully of a son' - her words, not mine. Mr Newton was happy to agree to mom's request, just to stop any nasty publicity. It also made me laugh that Emmett, who had managed to find Newton and give him a black eye in front of all his cronies, was never punished - that day wasn't much fun for me, but the outcome was.

Anyway, here I am sitting in the hated chair of my eye doctor's consulting room, waiting for him to begin testing my sight - again. Mom, Bella and Alice had noticed that I was having problems trying to focus, even with my contacts in (why are women so observant?), so an appointment was made and here we are, me, mom, dad and Bella - not my idea of a fun, family day out, such is life…

"Ok Edward you know the drill, head forward, look at the Eye Chart and tell me when the letters come into focus". Dr Stanley said, rather to cheerfully for my liking, as he placed the phoropter in front of my eyes and started the test.

After about 15 minutes he stopped the visual acuity test, but he proceeded to do a visual field test, checked on my depth perception or more to the point, lack of it and he also checked to see how dry my eyes were. All the time he was still being so frigging jolly, I really wanted to poke his eyes out. At last, when he had finished all tests he said.

"I'll call your parents in now Edward so we can discuss the outcome ok?"

I knew the outcome already, after years of hearing the phoropter click that many times before I could focus well enough - it was not good news. Maybe I could just test my own eyes, and save my parents a few thousands dollars every year…

"Carlisle, Esme would you like to come in please, we have completed all tests that needed to be done for the moment" He was saying as he held the door open waiting for mom & dad to come in.

"And Bella" I added quickly before he closed the door and left her sitting out there all alone.

Bella sat next to me and held my hand, while mom looked over at us and smiled, which made me chuckle to myself - my girl really doesn't realize how much my family love her.

As we sat waiting for Dr Stanley to give us his findings, I started to get a little nervous, but wasn't expecting to hear what he was about to say!

"As you have all probably guessed, Edwards eyes have deteriorated and his new prescription will be much stronger. But this time because he has such a big jump in Dioptres and the fact that his vision is now getting weaker in reduced light and his depth perception is really not good at all, I am really worried" Dr Stanley stated rather bluntly.

"By how much" I asked, not really wanting to know the answer, but I couldn't stand the silence in the room.

"Pardon" Dr Stanley looked a bit bemused as I have never really taken much notice of the jumps in my prescription.

"How many dioptres do you need to add this time"

"-2.25D in both eyes, plus your astigmatism is slightly up" he replied.

"Fuck, I spat. That brings my prescription up to minus 13D in my left eye and minus 12.75D in my right eye"

As I was trying to get my head around this figure, Bella looked at me and frowned. "I will explain it all to you later babe, I promise" I said squeezing her hand even tighter.

Before I could say anything more, he continued to speak, informing my parents that he wanted to arrange an appointment for me to see Dr Jacobson again at the High Myopia Study Group in Seattle.

"Can you arrange this as soon as possible please James" Dad asked.

"Of course Carlisle, I will call him after lunch. I'm sure he will accommodate Edward fairly soon, as he already knows his case history"

So with a new prescription in one hand and Bella in the other, we said our goodbyes and left Dr Stanley's office - hopefully not to return for at least another year!.

** _ EPOY_**

"Edward, I think the black rectangle frames suit you best and make you look really rather dashing" Bella giggled as she placed them back on my face and then kissing me softly on my lips.

"Ok sweetheart, whatever you say, just let me make sure" I said kissing her neck - I must say choosing new frames is much more fun when Bella is with me.

I put my old glasses back on and taking Bella's hand we went to find Victoria, the dispensing optician to let her know what I had decided to buy - the black Prada frames that Bella liked so much and the grey & black metal frames that would be my spare pair. Normally I usually find it impossible to see what I look like in new glasses, as they don't have my script in them, but here you try on the frames you would like and they take a picture on the computer, so you can just view it - fantastic idea. Oh and Bella was right, I did look dashing!

After having my eyes measured for the new contact lenses that I needed, myself, dad & Victoria discussed the lens options that were available for my new prescription - this was going to be fun - not.

As my lenses were quite complex, due to the severe myopia and the hefty dose of astigmatism, I knew that there was going to be a substantial increase of thickness - great.

Anyway, after a few discussions on which lenses were better for me, we settled on High-index lenses with some modifications to the edges - this, with the size of my frames will hopefully reduce some of the thickness at the edges, but will be expensive.

"Due to the complexity of your new prescription Edward, your glasses and contacts will take a bit longer to be made up, so you can collect them in about 5 days" Victoria said as we started to leave. Great no driving for nearly a week - can this get any worse?

Mom & dad thanked her as they handed over a very hefty cheque and we all said our goodbyes.

"I really can't wait for them to be ready so I can see you all the better my dear" I whispered to Bella as we left the shop trying to make light of it all, but feeling sick with worry inside.

"You sound like the big, bad wolf" She replied giggling. Oh how I love that giggle of hers.

We followed mom and dad into 'Il Ponte', a lovely little family run Italian restaurant for a bite to eat, before we went home.

"Hey old man, how much did all that set you back earlier" I asked as we sat down.

"You don't want to know, so unless you really want to have a heart attack son, don't ask" He laughed.

"That much huh?" I said, feeling guilty.

Dad must have noticed my face drop because he replied.

"Edward, its not like you totalled your car or even worse, my car, and I had to pay out thousands for repair, you need these new glasses to be able to function. So whatever the cost, it doesn't matter. Now lets order I'm starving"

"Thanks dad"

The restaurant was fairly busy and we had to wait awhile for a server to get to our table and take our order, which was fine by me as I was having problems actually seeing what I wanted to eat. This was due to the fact that my glasses were not nearly strong enough and where we were sitting had no natural light so I had to hold the menu really closes to my eyes and was still getting nowhere.

To say I was getting really frustrated was putting it mildly and I growled at Bella when she asked if I wanted any help and when dad suggested that we move to a table closer to the window, I lost the plot completely.

"Thank you both very much, but I can manage to order my own lunch, I'm not blind yet". I literally spat at them as I got up and walked out of the restaurant. Instantly I regretted my actions, but was to stubborn to go back inside.

After a few minutes I started to feel myself calm down a bit and just as I was about to swallow my pride and head back in I heard the sweetest voice ever.

"Edward are you ok?"

It was Bella, standing in front of me looking rather wary. Her eyes were puffy & rimmed with a red tinge.

"Come here baby, I said as I moved slowly towards her. I'm sorry for being a total ass"

"That's putting it mildly Edward. Look I'm sorry if I upset you, but you know it doesn't mean your weak for needing help - we all need help sometimes" She mumbled.

"I wasn't upset with you Bella, I was frustrated with me. I whispered holding her close in my arms. I didn't mean to make you cry babe".

We stayed there just holding each other for a while longer before she suggested we go back in - for me to apologise to my dad and to eat.

As we walked through the door I had to smile, sitting at a table near the window was mom and dad holding hands and talking. They looked up at me, grinned and handed me a menu as though nothing had happened.

"Sorry about that little performance earlier, I'm a little dramatic sometimes" I laughed.

"You think! My mom replied as cool as a cucumber. Now lets eat please".

I gave in and let Bella order for me. She was right, it didn't make me feel weak to accept help, it made me feel loved.

_** EPOY**_

Feeling extremely stuffed and a little tired, I settled down in the back of dad's car with Bella in my arms. I started to drift off into a nice sort of slumber, I let the days events swirl around in my head and tried to make sense of it all, but all I could think about was our annual family camping trip - that nightmare will commence in 3 days. God kill me know.

It seemed like I had only just shut my eyes when I felt Bella straighten up and put my glasses back on my face - we were home.

All I wanted to do was take Bella up to my room and have just an hour by ourselves, but Alice had other ideas.

"Well, what happened?" My annoying little sister asked as we walked up the porch steps into the house.

"Not now Alice" I growled hoping she would take the hint, and for once she did - wasn't expecting that!

Taking the stairs a fast as we could, we managed to get in my bedroom and close the door before Alice changed her mind and started throwing all sorts of obscure questions at us. But I knew there were questions I did have to answer, not from Alice, but my Bella.

"Are you going to explain to me what those numbers meant and why you were so angry" Bella asked as she took my hand and pulled me next to her on the bed.

"They mean that my vision is far worse than I thought and its deteriorating far to quickly for my liking. The higher the number, the stronger the lenses, equals less vision. Am I going to fast for you Bella?" I asked raising an eyebrow.

"I'm sure I can keep up" She smirked tilting her head silently telling me to continue.

"The jump in my prescription in such a short space of time and the issue with my depth perception is really worrying me Bella". I choked, feeling myself losing it, but as always my love calmed me down.

"Edward, lets just wait and see what Dr Jacobson has to say before we start to panic. I will be with you, by your side all the way no matter what the outcome - ok?"

And with those words, I felt the feeling of dread leave me - because I knew that she was right.

"How do you do that?" I asked looking at her in awe.

"Do what?" She replied looking at me as though I was going crazy.

"Make my fears disappear Bella"

"Oh that, Its just a knack I have and because you know I'm right Edward". She laughed turning toward the door, looking over her shoulder and winked.

"I love you Bella Swan" I said as I pulled her close to me.

"Love you more Edward Cullen" She replied kissing me with so much love, that I could actually see a fantastic future for us both, despite what might lay ahead.

**A/N. Just a little insight into Edwards visual problems and how he deals with them. A Phoropter is the machine the eye doctor uses to measure the distance you can see.**

**Next chapter will be the camping trip with the Cullens and Bella. **

**If you liked this chapter please feel free to review. Until next time x**


	6. Chapter 6

**Sorry it has taken me so long to up-date, but it was really hard to write this in Bella's point of view. **

**Chapter 6**

**Bella's POV**

Am I the only person actually looking forward to this camping trip? (Well I say camping, we are actually staying in cabins. The Cullen's like to be close to nature, but need a bathroom). Ok, Emmett is really excited too, but overall the mood is not as I was expecting it to be - could it be due to Edward and his lack of enthusiasm. I do hope he cheers up soon or the nickname 'Sullen Cullen', which Em & Alice have been calling him all afternoon, is going to be used all weekend…

I had hoped that this little trip would have taken Edward's mind off of the up and coming Doctor's visit, but it just seemed to make him worse and I really couldn't fathom out why, but I will get to bottom of it before this weekend is out!

Esme and Carlisle have been trying to keep the peace at the Cullen house for the last 2 hours. They are having to deal with Alice complaining that her 2 large cases won't fit in Emmett's jeep, Rosalie screaming at Emmett to grow up and stop acting like a kid on caffeine and Edward moaning about everything, from not being able to find his swimming shorts to stating that he was defiantly not sharing a cabin with Emmett.

Myself and Jasper were sitting on the couch taking it all in, just watching and waiting for either, Esme or Carlisle to finally lose their cool - they didn't disappoint us, because when they did, it was a corker…

"Alice, we are going away for 2 nights. Now go un-pack what ever is not necessary for a camping trip and make your stuff fit into one small case - do you understand?" Esme yelled.

"But mom" Alice started to say, but was cut off mid-sentence by Esme picking up the said cases and tipping the contents on the living room floor.

"Either you do it Alice Cullen or I will" Esme growled rather loudly.

Everyone just stopped and looked at Esme, including Carlisle, who had a little smirk on his lips as if to say - that's my girl.

"Emmett, stop acting the fool, go get your jeep and make sure there is room for your sisters case. Rose can you please go and keep an eye on him. Edward, take Bella and load your bags into the trunk of your father's car and for the love of God Edward, put a smile on your face. Alice you have 5 minutes to pack or you will have to spend the next 2 days in what you are wearing, understand - now move, all of you" Esme shouted as she flopped down onto the couch looking absolutely shattered.

"Wow, mamma Cullen is scary when she's angry" Jasper whispered to me as he slid off the couch to help Alice before she went into total shock.

"Bella are you ready" Edward called from the doorway squinting at me through his glasses.

"Yep, I replied. Grabbing my coat and purse I headed for the door to join him, taking his hand in mine I asked. What's wrong babe? You seem so down"

"Just a bit worried about being stuck in the middle of nowhere with limited vision and Emmett" He replied trying to smile.

"You will be fine Edward. Do you think your parents would risk putting you in any danger? And I'm sure Rose will keep Emmett under control"

"I know your right Bella, but its still a little scary not being able to see much. I feel as if I'm going to hold you all back on this trip". He choked as we settled down in the back of Carlisle's car.

"You will not hold anyone of us back Edward - I think this is going to be an eye opener for you, I'm sure you will handle it better than you think. Now kiss me before I start to think you don't love me anymore" I giggled, moving closer to his perfectly toned body.

"I will always love you, Ms Swan" Edward whispered as he kissed my lips. It's a good thing I was sitting, as this kiss left me feeling quite light-headed and dizzy with pleasure.

We pulled away from each other as we heard Esme and Carlisle get in the car.

"Ready for the experience that is a Cullen camping trip Bella" Carlisle laughed.

"I really can't believe I have never been on one before - I'm so ready for this. Even the prospect of spending the next two days with Emmett is not putting me off".

"Let me know if you still feel the same after spending two days with the fool that is my son" Esme replied.

…_**EPoY…**_

"Come on Alice stop being such a baby and grow up. " I said though gritted teeth.

Alice was still sulking about the lack of clothes and was being a total ass. The atmosphere in the cabin that she was sharing with me and Rosalie was really beginning to feel rather frosty.

"Its not fair Bella, mom only let me bring two pieces of swimwear" Alice said crying, whilst holding the swimwear in her hands.

The words 'its not fair' made me lose the plot.

"You're right there Alice, life is not fair, I sarcastically replied, spinning round so I was facing her. You have a brother out there who was dreading the thought of this damn camping trip, not because he only has a few pieces of swimwear, but because he has to wear glasses that are next to useless. _Its not fair _that his new pair will not be ready until Monday. _Its not fair _that even with the aid of very strong glasses he will still not be able to see clearly in the near future. _Its not fair _that he is hurting at the thought that _**HE**_ will be the one to hold us back this weekend, but you know what Alice - you are the one who will make or break this weekend. You think your life is not fair because you only have a few pieces of clothing with you Alice - go ask Edward, I'm sure he will let you know just how un- fucking -fair life is".

"Rose can you talk some sense into her please, as I'm really losing my patience with little Miss Cullen over there and because I have better things to do, like trying to give her brother the confidence boost he needs to enjoy these 2 days". I mumbled grabbing a towel and storming out.

"Sure thing Bella, it will be a pleasure" Rose winked.

Poor Rosalie - not only does she have Emmett to contend with this weekend, she now has Alice too… I will thank her later.

As I approached the shore I could see Edward sitting on the rocks, already dressed in his swim shorts.

"Hey baby" I said putting my arms around his neck and kissing the top of his head. Putting all thoughts of my argument with Alice to the back of my mind.

Edward turned so he was facing me and the look on his face broke my heart.

"I cant do this Bella - I can't see enough through these glasses" He started to say, but I stopped him mid-sentence.

"That's fine we won't swim this weekend sweetie, I said stroking his face lovingly, but just so you know Edward, I would have been by your side all the way"

He was quite for a while, just sitting there silently holding my hand. When he finally looked up he was grinning - that sexy lopsided grin that I loved so much and said.

"Ok maybe it won't be to bad if we stay close to the edge and not venture too far out"

"That's my boy" I replied smiling like a fool.

"You so know how to work me Bella Swan, he laughed as we entered the water, you give me the confidence to do anything"

"No Edward you already have the confidence, but you just need a little push sometimes" I replied walking backwards with his hands in mine.

Edward was a strong swimmer - me, not so much, but I felt confident enough being with him to take the lead - not that he needed it. We swam along the shoreline, with me never leaving his side. The further we swum, the more confident Edward became - it was lovely to see him taking his limited vision in his stride.

After awhile we began swimming back to where we had left our things. I held his hand and led him to where our towels were laid out on the grass. I passed him his glasses and was just about to pack our things away when he said.

"Bella can we just stay here awhile before we go join the others?"

"That's what I love about you Edward - your ability to read my mind"

He smiled as he pulled me into his arms and gently sat me beside him.

"I need for you to hold me Edward" I mumbled as I lay my head on his shoulder.

"Anytime babe" He whispered as we lay on the grass wrapped in each others arms.

"I'm so very proud of what you accomplished today Edward. I knew you really didn't want to swim without being able to see clearly" I started to say but he cut me off.

"I was really scared Bella - the feeling of not being in control terrified me, but I knew I had to give it a try. But what really frightens me is how I will cope when my vision gets so bad that glasses won't work anymore".

"Why worry about things that haven't happened yet - we will cross that bridge when we come to it. When that time comes Edward, there will be an abundance of professionals to show you how to live life to the full. And don't forget that I will always be there, remember we are in this together - we are a team ok?" I said trying to soothe him.

What he said next totally knocked me for six…

"Marry me Bella"

"Um, say that again, I didn't quite catch that" I stuttered trying to say calm.

"That's great, I'm blind and you're deaf". He laughed taking my hand in his and repeated the words.

"Marry me Bella"

"Edward did you bang you're head at some point today, I asked looking at him like he was crazy. Do you realize what you are saying, we are not even 17 yet" I mumbled.

"Bella I want to be able to see you walk down the aisle, I want to see the happiness on your face and on the faces of our parents. Can you not understand that Bella?"

"Of course I can understand and I love you with all my heart and soul, but this is big Edward. Can you imagine my dad's reaction? What do you think your parents would say?" Renee will defiantly have a seizure!" I said, getting really panicky.

"I'm not saying we leave here and drive to the courthouse today, but I do want you as my wife before we go away to college. Please Bella just think about it, that's all I'm asking of you" He pleaded.

"Oh, I will be thinking about it, make no mistake about that Edward, it will properly be the only thing on my mind" I replied sarcastically.

"Thank you, he said kissing me. Now shall we join the rest of the family, as I'm sure a game of Cullen baseball is just waiting to be played by you"

And just like that the conversation was over.

"Edward, did we just discuss getting married back there?" I asked not quite sure if I had imagined it.

"Yes my love, we did" He laughed looking rather smug…

…_**EPoY…**_

"You cheated Jasper" Emmett shouted as he sulked off of the make-shift baseball field.

It took Esme, Rose and Carlisle to calm Emmett down, while Edward was laughing so much, the tears were rolling down his face.

"You are just a sore loser big brother". Alice called after him, laughing like a hyena as she jumped on Jaspers back screaming that her team had won.

"Alice please stop winding up your brother" Esme said trying to stifle her laughter.

Life with the Cullen's is never dull, and so far this weekend is no exception - and I was loving it.

After Em had decided to quit sulking, we sat around talking about things that were happening in our day to day lives, which included Edwards up and coming birthday and Jaspers new car.

The tension between me and Alice had been noticed by all the others, except Edward, who couldn't really see the strained looks we were passing to each other. I really hadn't wanted any hard feelings to be hanging over us, but I just couldn't bring myself to be civil to her - yet.

Esme called us girls over to help out with some much needed food, whilst the boys were helping Carlisle with the fire. It was getting dark and I knew Edward would be having a few problems with this. I was just about to go to him when I saw Emmett put his arm around Edwards shoulder and walked with him to their cabin. With tears in my eyes I turned and saw Esme shedding a few tears too.

"It breaks my heart Bella, and there's not a Damn thing I can do to stop this happening, I would give him my eyes if I could" She sobbed.

"I know Esme" I stuttered through my own tears. Taking my hands she smiled and thanked me for loving him so much.

Alice was sitting at the table with her head on her knees, as I walked passed her with a tray full of hotdogs and rolls, she looked up and said.

"I'm such a selfish bitch aren't I"

" Yes Alice, sometimes you are" I replied rather harshly placing the food on the table.

"He is losing his vision too fast isn't he?" She choked.

"Faster than he would like Alice, but we will know more when we go see Dr Jacobson"

Before we could say any more Carlisle and Jasper called letting us know that the fire was ready to start the cooking.

"Has anyone seen Edward and Em". I asked as they were nowhere to be seen.

"They are still in their cabin Bella, Jasper whispered, the conversation seems to be getting a bit heavy - go rescue them from each other".

"Thanks Jazz, I will do just that" I said as I started towards the cabin.

As I approached the boys cabin I could hear raised voices. I really didn't want to eavesdrop, but my curiosity got the better of me - so I stayed where I was and listened.

"It's not going to stop happening Emmett, it will get a lot worse for God sake. Can't you just accept the fact that I will be legally blind in a few years." I heard Edward snarl at Emmett.

"No little brother, I really can't accept it. I have to keep believing that there is still some hope, that the Doctors have this wrong" Emmett shouted.

"Don't you think I have prayed for that every night since being diagnosed with this fucking condition? Please Emmett just work with me on this, I'm going to need your support" Edward pleaded.

"I'm with you all the way, you moron, but for the love of God don't give up and withdraw up your own ass, ok?" Emmett was saying through his tears, just as I opened the cabin door.

"Sorry to interrupt, but I thought you might like to know that the food is about to be cooked" I said hoping my timing was ok.

"Just give us 2 minutes Belly Bear and we will be right with you" Emmett grinned at me, while wiping the tears from his face. And Edward, glasses in hand was doing the same thing.

Turning to leave I heard Edward say to Emmett.

"Come on then you crazy optimist, help your moronic brother find his way to the food, its too dark for me to judge any sort of distance in these glasses - we will finish our little chat later"

"Anytime kid, Emmett laughed as he took Edwards arm and guided him towards Carlisle and Jasper.

"Em, just to let you know that I love you" Edward whispered.

"Don't get all emotional on me man" Emmett laughed, but quickly added, "I love you too Edward."

The rest of the evening was really quite pleasant. We ate a great deal and I laughed so much, at one point I thought was going to pee myself. At this moment in time life couldn't be better. Just being with Edward and his family was where I wanted to be - forever.

After we had finished eating and all the leftover's were cleared away, me and Edward spent sometime alone in the girls cabin.

"What's with you and Alice" Edward asked raising an eyebrow over his glasses waiting for me to answer.

"Its nothing really babe, can we discuss this when we get home. I pleaded. Lets just enjoy the rest of the time we have here" .

"As long as you are ok with it, I'm sure I can wait" He mumbled as he kissed me passionately.

Not being able to hold back, I let my hands pull him closer as we fell on the bed. I could feel his breath on my neck and his slender fingers creeping up my leg. His lips were now teasing mine - oh my God this is heaven and I don't want to leave. Suddenly I remembered where we were.

"Edward I really think we should stop, I can hear Rose outside" I managed to stutter, looking into his beautiful emerald eyes, not really wanting for him to stop. This will defiantly be happening again - soon…

"Are you two decent in there" Rose asked

"Yes, unfortunately we are". Edward joked.

With that Rose let herself into our cabin, closely followed by Alice.

"I should be going, we have to be up early tomorrow" Edward said

He was struggling to focus as his glasses were still on the bed and I could see he was starting to panic because he couldn't find them. Even though they were nowhere near strong enough for him, they still helped him see something.

"Here handsome". I said picking them up and placing them on his face.

"Thank you" He whispered.

As he started for the door, Alice, who had been abnormally quite, turned to him with tears streaming down her face and said. "I love you Edward and I always will"

"I love you too pixie girl, but what has brought all this on?" He asked.

"Can't a girl tell her big brother she loves him now and again?" She smiled through her tears.

"Of course you can little sis" Looking a bit bemused and knowing he wasn't going to get a straight answer, he pulled her close for a hug, kissed the top of her head and told her to sleep well.

I should really speak to Alice in the morning, I thought to myself, then I added out loud.

"I will explain it all to you tomorrow Edward"

"I can't wait?" He sniggered.

Taking my hand we walked outside and kissed each other goodnight just as Emmett appeared.

"Fancy a walk?" He asked nudging Edward's arm.

"Sounds like a plan" Edward replied laughing.

I walked back into the cabin, knowing he would be ok with his brother.

…_**EPoY…**_

Edward was not wrong, when he said we would be getting up early - it really seemed like I had not slept a wink when Esme popped her head through the door of our cabin to let us know it was time to 'rise & shine' - her word's not mine.

After breakfast, Carlisle informed us we were all going on a hike - I wondered how Edward would react to this, but he was fine. Actually, he smiled when Carlisle told us.

"We will split into two teams and the first to make it back here without cheating wins" Carlisle said as he started to call the teams.

"Bella, Edward, mom and me are team one, Emmett, Rose, Alice and Jasper are team two"

"Why can't we just go in pairs" Emmett asked.

"Because I said so and being the head of this family and the oldest, what I say goes - ok?" Carlisle grinned at us all.

"You may think you're head of this family old man, but we all know its mom" Edward laughed.

"Very perceptive my dear boy, you will go far in this world" Esme smiled at her son.

We all knew why Carlisle didn't want us in pairs and why he and Esme were in our team, but no one said a word - not even Edward.

We picked up our rucksacks, locked the cabins and listened to Esme as she made sure we all had our cell phones.

Edward stood up, adjusted his glasses and then took my hand saying.

"We are going to whip your ass Emmett"

Emmett just smiled and said.

"Be careful you don't bump into any Mountain Lions Bella - I've heard there are quite a few lurking about" He laughed doing his best impression of a lions roar, but looked and sounded more like a pussy cat.

"If they all act like that Emmett, I think I'll cope" I replied sarcastically rolling my eyes.

…_**EPoY…**_

As we neared the top of the steep hill, Carlisle and Esme were in front, and Edward right behind me. I was panting a bit from the climb, when I heard rustling in the bush to the left of me, and then the unmistakable sound of a mountain lion (not that I've heard mountain lions up close). The rustling did nothing to help me believe otherwise, especially since I could hear the throaty growl in the bushes.

While all this was running through my head, I have to admit that I was having a panic attack, and I began sucking in air faster than I could blink. I was totally alert the entire time, thinking of a way to distract the said 'mountain lion' away from Edward. However, probably due to a lack of oxygen, I still gulped more air in, and before I knew it, I fell backwards and landed on my derrière. I think I just inhaled too much air.

I was clutching my chest thinking I was definitely going to die any second, calling for Edward, when who should fly out of the bushes - NOT the mountain lion I had envisaged but Emmett. He leapt through the air with all the grace of a baby hippo!.

Relief is one thing, realisation is quite another, and at that moment I wanted to kill Emmett. However, the second part of our team was running back towards me and a very stunned Edward. Carlisle found me sprawled on my back with Emmett on top of me. He sprinted the rest of the way to where I was lying and asked me if I was okay while lifting his eldest son by the scruff of his neck and saying.

"What the hell have you done Emmett - what has happened to Bella?"

In Emmet's defence, I think it was supposed to be funny, but at that moment I really couldn't see the funny side - maybe in about 10 years I might chuckle to myself about it.

I pushed myself so I was sitting up, holding my head knowing it would grow into the most awful headache I have ever had.

"Are you ok Bella" Carlisle said looking really concerned.

"Really, I'm fine Carlisle, I just got a little carried away when I heard that sound"

Well that was a bad thing to mention as Carlisle turned to Emmett and said.

"What in hell is she talking about Emmett?"

After screaming at Em, for what seemed like forever, I finally convinced Carlisle that I was fine and there was no damage done. I turned to where Edward was sitting along side Esme to make sure he was ok - which to my relief, he was. Well he looked calm - sort of. I had a feeling that this little incident scared him a little but I didn't say anything in case he started on Emmett, who was still being told off by Carlisle and Esme.

Edward took my hand and helped me up, whispering in my ear.

"I'm going to get him back for this little episode Bella. I will let him think I have forgotten all about it and then I will set my revenge in motion".

"Come on my hero, lets get back to the cabin" I said kissing his luscious lips.

Once back in camp, Alice rustled up some ice, wrapped in a cloth and put it on my aching head.

"Here Bella this might help ease the pain a little bit" Alice mumbled looking rather sheepish.

"Thanks Alice" I said smiling to let her know everything was going to be ok between us.

No one was talking civilly to the eldest of the Cullen boys, did it bother him? No! But he did apologise to me at least a hundred times and kept asking if I needed water, more ice, etc. I knew he would still carry on doing crazy things, but that was Emmett - and for all his faults, I still loved him.

…_**EPoY…**_

The next day was just as crazy - Carlisle had decided that we all attend the archery centre that was not too far from the cabins. Was he mad? We all looked at him as though he had totally lost his marbles…

"Dad are you sure this is a good idea" Alice asked, while taking a side-ward glance at Edward.

"Yes I do Alice, anyone can do exactly what the put their mind too" Was his only reply.

Edward, who had been really quite confident this weekend, now looked a bit down-hearted. As we started towards the cars, he stopped, turned to me and said.

"How am I going to beat Emmett at fucking archery?"

"Is that what's worrying you Edward" I asked, rather stunned at his comment and his cursing.

"Yep" He answered, winking at me.

"God Edward you are such a man, I was really concerned for you back there" I said smacking his arm.

"Hey don't damage the arm - that's one of the things you need in archery" He laughed.

"Come you big goof, lets go kick Emmett's ass" I smiled as I pushed him in Carlisle's car.

When we arrived Carlisle and Esme discussed who should partner who. I was a little shocked when Esme told us.

"Right, we are going to be split into 2 teams of 4 - Emmett, Edward, Alice and Carlisle in team one, and me, Rose, Bella and Jasper in team two - are there any questions?" She said looking at us waiting for one of us to reply.

Emmett was the first to say something (what a surprise).

"O-kay" He started to say, but Esme stopped him in his tracks.

"Me and your father have discussed this and we think it best if you use this time for a little sibling bonding". She said pointing to Em, Edward and Alice, smiling to herself knowing that they really wouldn't argue with her.

"And dad is with us, because?" Emmett asked raising his eyebrows at his mom, not knowing when to keep his mouth shut.

"Because I said so Emmett, and having your father there will stop the arguments that, I'm sure will occur at some point today". Esme replied.

As Esme predicted there were arguments between the Cullen kids, and even though they were trying to out do each other for most of the time, they eventually pulled together and played like a team and beat us!

I knew that Edward found it almost impossible to see the target, let alone hit it, and I could see him getting really frustrated with himself, but with the help of Alice and Emmett he managed to hit it a few times and even beat Jasper in 2 rounds!. So maybe Esme was right, it was just what they needed. Being together also helped them to try and understand just how much Edwards vision is affecting his day to day life and that he sometimes needs more help than he asks for.

…_**EPoY…**_

We had just pulled up at my house, and even though I wanted to be going home with Edward, I really should spend sometime with my dad. He had been cool about my weekend away with the Cullen's, but he obviously missed me as he was now waving from the porch.

"That was an interesting few days" Edward said as he was getting my bag from the trunk of Carlisle car.

"How so?" I asked.

"Well, I managed to enjoy it for a start. And I must say that I actually enjoyed being with Alice and Emmett. It also made me realise that I do need some help - sometimes" He answered begrudgingly.

"I did say it was going to be an eye opener for you - did I not?" I looked at him rather smugly.

"Yes my Bella, you did" He laughed taking me in his strong arms and kissing me softly on my lips.

Dad was now standing by the car talking to Esme and Carlisle about their trip to see Dr Jacobson on Wednesday. I was straining my ears to hear what was being said. After a few minutes all three looked our way and I heard Esme thank Charlie.

"Looks like your going to Seattle in a few days Bells" Charlie said grinning.

Before I could answer, Edward got there first.

"Thank you sir, it means a lot to me that Bella will be there with us" Edward replied shaking Charlie's hand.

"I know how much you want her there Edward. Oh by the way son, the names Charlie, you can drop the 'sir' thing, you have won me over" Charlie smiled as he took my bag, turned and disappeared indoors.

Standing on the porch waving goodbye to Edward and his parents, my mind drifted to Seattle and what Wednesday will bring. I'm sure there will be many more visits to Dr Jacobson in the future, but no matter what the outcome I will be right by Edwards side - for all of eternity.

**A/N. Just a few words of thanks - I have had some reviews - yay... Please keep them coming, it makes my day when I read them.**

**Next up: The trip to Seattle and Edwards birthday (in his POV)**

**x**


	7. Chapter 7

**This was going to include Edwards birthday, but other things got in the way. **

**Chapter 7**

**Edwards POV**

Alice had been weird and clingy all weekend, so I was really not that surprised when I heard her outside my bedroom door.

"Edward, can I come in?" Alice asked, talking through the closed door of my bedroom

"Sure pixie, but only if you have my breakfast with you" I replied.

With that the door burst open and the blur that was my little sister came bounding in and jumped on the bed.

"No breakfast, but will a hug do?" She said as she threw her arms a round my neck, nearly choking me.

"Alice, what's all this about". I asked as I tried to prise her little hands from my neck. For someone so small she was freakishly strong.

"We need to talk big brother, before Bella picks you up" She stated sitting with her arms folded across her chest like she meant business.

I didn't bother with my glasses, I couldn't see much out of them anyway, but I would be picking up my new ones today - I really couldn't wait to be able to see properly.

"Shoot" I said looking down at Alice, who was now snuggling up against my chest.

"Tell me about it" She mumbled.

"Tell you what?"

"Your vision Edward"

"You know about that Al, you seem to notice everything else that goes on in my life" I laughed.

"This is not a laughing matter Edward, I need to know more about it so I can understand!" She was now speaking at a rate of roughly a hundred words a minute.

"Ok little one, just let me use the bathroom first and then I'll tell you everything" I kissed the top of her head and stumbled towards the door of my en-suite, but not being able to find the handle first time really annoyed me. Such a simple thing to do, opening a door, but not for me - grrrr.

"Edward let me help you" She said jumping from the bed.

"Alice that's just gross" I shivered at the thought, but at least it made me find the door handle quicker!.

When I had finished we settled down again and I told her all that I knew.

"You know all about this condition don't you?" It was a rhetorical question, but she still nodded in reply, so I continued.

"Well my vision has deteriorated far quicker than anyone of us had anticipated. Dr Stanley was really concerned by this rapid progression. As my visual acuity is now really quite poor and added to the fact that my depth perception and my sight in reduced lighting is so bad, he made an emergency appointment for me to see Dr Jacobson on Wednesday" I added waiting for her to say something.

"You will be able to see better with your new glasses, won't you?" She asked, sounding really concerned.

"I hope so Alice, but what we don't know is, how long for. I will find out more on my little trip to Seattle and when I do, I will let you know - ok?"

"Thanks for telling me Edward"

"Anytime pixie" I replied.

As she was heading for the door she asked the question I knew everyone wanted to know, but were to frightened to ask.

"Are you scared"

"More than you will ever know" I replied solemnly.

_**EPoY**_

"Come on Edward, we don't have all day" Bella was saying as she jumped into the drivers seat of my Volvo.

I knew she was a bit worried about driving it, and to tell the truth I was a tad apprehensive about her being behind the wheel - it's much faster than her old rust bucket of a truck! Hopefully on the way back I will be the one driving.

It has been 6 days since I had been behind the wheel of my beloved car - I really can't believe I had driven with glasses that were hopelessly too weak for me, anyway we are now off to pick up my new glasses and contacts - I really couldn't wait to be able to see better, but I'm not looking forward to having even stronger lenses in my new frames - I just know everyone will notice the big jump. Maybe I can wear my contacts all the time - but then again, maybe not.

The only parking space Bella could find was right outside 'Il Ponte' the little restaurant we used on our last visit to the opticians - I would take Bella in there for lunch later, only this time I won't throw a hissy fit. Holding Bella's arm we walked slowly to the store, talking about what I wanted to do for my birthday - which I might add was not much. I just wanted a quite family dinner at home, but I really won't hold my breath because I know mom and Bella have a few surprises planned for me.

On entering the store we went straight to the counter to ask for Victoria. The young girl sitting there was not the most polite person I have met. She didn't even look up at first, just asking us what we wanted.

"I'm here to see Victoria" I stated wondering what the hell she thought we were there for.

Bella was, as always, really calm, but I could feel myself losing it with this rude, idiotic girl.

"Excuse me miss what's your name" I asked rather sharply. I was at least expecting her to answer me, but when I heard Bella speak up, I really tried to keep my temper in check.

"It is no good just pointing to your name badge missy, my boyfriend asked you a question and he would like a verbal reply" Bella said in a voice that scared me!

"What, can't he read" Was the only reply she gave.

"No, I can't see" I responded sharply.

"Maybe you should buy some new glasses" She laughed thinking she had cracked a funny.

With that Bella really let her have it.

"Are you some kind of fucking dim-wit. How on earth did you manage to obtain a job working with the public?"

I was trying to calm down Bella and myself when I heard Victoria's voice.

"Kate please go out back and wait for me there - you and me need to have a little chat"

"I'm so sorry Edward, but she is the owners daughter and I'm stuck with her for a few days, but I will let him know you are putting in a formal complaint regarding this matter if that's what you want?" She stated.

"Actually I do Victoria, being addressed that way - it is totally un-acceptable. She has no right speaking to people like that" I answered.

"She should never be allowed to speak to the public - ever" Bella mumbled calming a little.

The rest of the visit was much as I expected. My new glasses were significantly thicker, but I could see much better - which cheered me up no end. Then Victoria informed me that because of the complexity of my lenses I would experience some headaches for a while and suggested that I don't drive until they have passed, which would probably be in a few days - which put me on a downer! She also advised me about wearing my contacts for only a few hours a day at first and then it was up to me, but as my eyes have a tendency to become dry very quickly I should be careful.

She wished us well as she walked us to the door.

"Take care Edward, see you soon" she said.

"Not too soon I hope" I replied as I shook her hand.

_**EPoY**_

After a rather pleasant lunch we made our way home - with Bella driving! To say I was pissed was the understatement of the year. I really couldn't believe I was sitting in the damn passenger seat - again.

"What was the point of these, I said pointing to the glasses that were perched on my nose, when even with them I still can't drive my own car" I sulked.

"You know why Edward. I'm sure waiting a few more days will not kill you" Bella's reply was less than friendly.

The rest of the journey was made in complete silence. When we finally arrived at my house, Bella parked in the drive and proceeded to get out of the car without a word. I had obviously upset her in some way and I wanted to talk to her about it, but as I had a truly excruciating pain in my head, I really just needed some pain killers and a sleep before this pain grew into a fully fledged migraine. So I followed her indoors but walked straight passed her and continued up to my room without even saying hello to my family. Throwing myself on the bed I drifted off into a nice slumber…

"What in Gods name did you do to upset Bella?" My mom was saying, in a tone that I knew meant she was not happy.

Trying to get my mind in gear, I sat up and put my glasses on giving myself a couple of moments to focus properly, before I answered her.

"Mom I really don't know - she was really quite on the ride home and when we got here she didn't say a word to me.

"What, you never said a word Edward?"

I gave mom a run down of the conversation we had in the car - word for word. I really didn't think I had said anything wrong.

"For someone who is supposed to be intelligent, you are at times a bloody fool Edward"

"What?" Was all I could think of to say.

"Get up now - I'm taking you to see Bella, mom growled, but added in a softer tone, those glasses suit by the way"

"Thanks mom" I managed to stutter a reply, sitting there completely dumbfounded.

If I live to be a thousand years old, I will never understand women…

The drive to the Swan house was, to say the least uncomfortable. Mom was mumbling something about all men being utterly stupid and how if it wasn't for women they would not get on in the world and that I was just like my father.

As she stopped the car she turned to me and said.

"Go in there and apologise for your stupid behaviour"

"Mom I really don't know what I'm supposed to have done" I explained.

Mom started to shake her head, looking at me as though I had gone mad, when I heard a voice that was music to my ears - it was my Bella. As she approached, I opened the car door and pulled her to me and softly whispered.

"I'm sorry babe, please forgive me"

"Do you even know what you are apologising for Edward" She smiled.

"No, but what ever I did I'm sorry" I answered truthfully.

"You are such a fool Edward - next time think before you speak" Bella replied taking my face in her lovely, soft hands.

"Will you at least let me what I did to upset you babe" I pleaded.

"Later Edward, later" she said kissing my both my cheeks.

So I was still none the wiser, as me and mom drove home. My head still hurt and dad wanted to talk about Wednesday. That was one of the weirdest days ever…

_**EPoY**_

The next two days flew by and before I knew it Wednesday was here. If I was totally honest with myself, I was feeling a bit apprehensive about the visit to Dr Marcus Jacobson, but Bella was a Godsend. She always calmed me when I was feeling like this - what would I ever do without her? She had still not told me what I did wrong - but I will get to the bottom of it soon…

By Wednesday morning my headaches had eased considerably. Even though my glasses had left me in horrendous pain at times, I had to endure it as I really needed to get used to them. People don't understand that wearing very strong glasses can cause a few problems, such as the afore mentioned headaches, you get pains across the bridge of your nose and behind the ears, because they weigh quite a lot if the lenses are made of glass, which mine are. Also, even though objects are mainly clear and in focus they look considerably smaller to the person wearing them, which is not that easy to handle, especially if you have a problem with depth perception! I have taken all this in my stride to a point, but it does sometimes get me down. So as you can imagine I was overjoyed at the fact my eyes were not that dry when I popped them in this morning and I could wear them for the first time since I had picked them up on Monday.

So dressed in a nice white button down shirt, dark jeans and my favourite Raybans, I was ready for the journey that would most probably seal my fate and Bella's.

"Sexy much" Bella whistled as I walked into the kitchen where she was sitting with mom and dad.

Dad looked at the sunglasses and asked if they would be ok. I Convinced him that they would be fine as I'm not driving and would take them off as soon as we got out of the car. Bella raised her eyebrows at this conversation, but didn't say a word - I would explain to her later, that I really can't see that good in sunglasses, it restricts my vision, due to the fact I don't have much usable vision in reduced light and these have very dark lenses, but I want to look normal for a while.

As we got nearer to Seattle I started to feel panicky and Bella sensed it straight away.

"Are you feeling ok sweetie" She asked.

Squeezing her hand I answered as truthfully as I could.

"No babe I scared to death"

"So am I Edward, but what ever the prognosis we will work through it ok"

Listening to her reply I realised that I won't be able to change the outcome and I will have to except what the Doctor tells us. So maybe worrying is not the way forward - that's easier said than done…

"Ready son" dad asked as he parked the car.

"As I'll ever be" I replied squeezing Bella's hand tightly in mine and walking towards the clinic.

Sitting in the waiting room along side us was a little boy and his parents. He was about 5 year old and wore very strong glasses very similar to mine and in his hand was a small white cane, it bought a lump to my throat but I really couldn't tear my eyes away from him. I was lost in thought when Bella whispered to me.

"Don't even go there Edward, today is about now - not the future"

Before I could answer a nurse called my name.

"Edward can you please follow me, Dr Jacobson is ready to see you now".

On the walk to his office I felt like a condemned man being led to the gallows. Its now or never I thought as we all entered the Doctors room.

"Hello Edward nice to see you again" The doctor said holding out his hand for me to shake.

"Please excuse me if I don't return the complement" I laughed.

"Nice reply Edward, its good to see you have not lost your sense of humour, he replied looking around and spotting Bella, and you are?"

"Bella Swan, girlfriend to the comedian over there" She answered deadpan.

"I like her Edward - she's a keeper"

"Yes sir I know and just for the record I never intend to let her go"

After a while he started to explain what would be done today and roughly how long it would all take.

First up was the visual acuity - again. First he tested my eyes while I was wearing my contacts and again with my glasses - there was no change from when Dr Stanley tested them a nearly two weeks ago. Next was my visual fields - there was little change in my peripheral vision.

"Two down, three to go Edward" Dr Jacobson reported saying he would continue after lunch.

We took a break for lunch and so I could get a bit of fresh air, I felt as if I was suffocating so mom suggested we sit in the park next to the clinic. It was quite a nice day so we sat there, eating sandwiches and enjoying the view and each others company. After about 40 minute,s mom and Bella slipped away saying they were going to buy a few bottles of water to take back with us.

Me and dad started back to the clinic to meet our girls.

"Are you doing ok son" Dad asked sounding really concerned.

"Just fine & dandy" I replied nudging his arm and laughing.

Once back inside it wasn't long before I was called again to have the first of the other three tests .

"Ok Edward are you ready? We will test your depth perception first"

"Your call Doc" I nervously stated.

50 minutes later one of the dreaded test was over. I sat there waiting for him to give me the results, but he announced he would give his conclusion after the other two were finished. Oh did I want Bella in here with me right now.

"Edward I would like to do a couple tests you have never had before, if that is ok with you"

"Like I said before sir, it's your call"

At first he made me read a book, then I had to look at him, then read again without any glasses, which really wasn't easy, then look at him - it was really monotonous, but it had to be done I suppose. But when he took me into another room and started asking me to distinguish between colours such as, whites, creams and beige and then browns and tans, I really thought he had totally lost the plot - there must be a method in his madness.

"We are finished for today Edward" He stated picking up my file and walking with me to his office.

"What about my night vision? You didn't test for that" I said, rather stunned.

"I will explain it all when your parents and that gorgeous girl of yours come back in"

"Hands and eyes off my girl doc" I managed to laugh.

Mom and Bella sat either side of me, each holding one of my hands, while dad was talking to Dr Jacobson. My leg was bouncing up and down so much I thought it had a life of its own - this was nerve racking and I wanted it to be over. I didn't have to wait long because just as I was about to speak up the doctor beat me to it.

"As you know Edward, your Acuity and Visual Fields results had not changed since Dr Stanley did them a few weeks ago, which I was relieved at. I will discuss the outcome of the depth perception test later" He reported.

Before I could say a word he continued to speak, which made me feel really quite agitated.

"There were two test that you have never taken before. One was to see if you had any accommodative spasms and the last test I conducted was called a contrast sensitivity test" He said looking at us waiting for one of us to say something.

I just couldn't bring myself to ask what they were for, but Bella did.

"Can you please explain what that means in words that I can understand"

"An accommodative spasm is a condition that causes the eye muscle to accommodate or focus constantly and automatically. For example, a person may be concentrating on a close task, such as reading, but when they look up, their vision is blurry. This is because their eye is still focusing on a close-up or near task, even though they are now looking at a distance. This means, a person with this has a difficult time getting the focusing muscle to relax when looking at a distance" He answered looking at me.

"Do I have that?" I asked not really wanting to know the answer.

"You have a mild form of it Edward and I can't say if it will get worse. We will just have to keep an eye on it from now on. I'm not concerned about that at the moment, as your eyes are not moving excessively, but what does concern me is the fact that your contrast sensitivity and the depth perception has increased - do you want me to continue?"

I couldn't speak, because I knew if I opened my mouth nothing but sobs would come out, so I just nodded.

"You have always had a few problems with depth perception. This is due to a misalignment of your eyes in early childhood, but now Edward, your eye's ability to determine distance between objects or to tell if something or someone is near or far has diminished to a level that is very worrying. You also have a slightly decreased level of contrast and colour sensitivity. This is the ability to distinguish between objects of similar colour or tone and I wasn't really expecting that to happen so soon".

I heard what he had said, but my brain was trying to process a different scenario, because I didn't like what he was saying. Could I really continue to sit here and listen to the rest of this horror story - will it ever end?

"Edward are you ok sweetheart" Mom asked bring me out of my own little world.

"Yes mom I fine" was all I could say without choking on the lump that had formed in my throat.

He totally seemed un-aware of the silence in his office and continued to speak.

"You asked earlier, Edward, why I had not tested your night vision. This is because I want you to take an O&M night evaluation - tonight if possible. He asked.

"Why does Edward need to have this test?" Mom whispered, barely able to breath.

"Esme, have you noticed that Edward has been having a few difficulties in reduced lighting at home or when he is out at night?" Dr Jacobson replied.

"Yes, bu…" She started to say when the good doc continued.

"There are factors that are associated with night or reduced light vision which are not present during the day such as, seeing vehicles, kerbs, things on the sidewalk or even people. This could impact a persons confidence and safety. Edwards visual impairment could potentially increase his vulnerability when travelling at night. Therefore, it is considered best practice that these issues be addressed, and considering his depth perception I think its essential"

"What does it entail" Dad was the next to question Dr Jacobson.

"He will walk a few blocks around the neighbourhood with 2 O&M assessors. They will grade him on how he uses his night vision and will evaluate his abilities on streets, sidewalks, curves in streets, slopes, surface textures, abstract patterns formed by the arrangements of things in space, and so forth, He answered dad and then added, Edward you need to be wearing your glasses, not contacts ok?""

I just sat there wishing I was somewhere else, when my Bella spoke for the first time in ages.

"Can I go with him sir?"

"I'm afraid not Bella, that's not how it works" He replied.

"What if he falls and hurts himself?" She stuttered.

I knew her tears would flow very soon. I had to do something to put her mind at ease.

"Come on babe, I'll be fine, I promise. I said kissing the top of her head that she had, by now laid on my chest.

"Bella this observation will be carried out by trained O&M supervisors. They won't let any harm come to him" my doctor replied softly.

"Ok" She nodded, not even looking up.

"Now go and eat, chill or if you feel the need Edward, scream, but be back here in 2 hours please" He laughed.

I really wanted to know what the hell there was to laugh about - I couldn't find anything funny from where I was sitting.

Dad walked over and sat next to mom, they both looked completely devastated. It was then that I realised I had one or a hundred questions that I needed answering - but it would wait. I really needed to get out of this damn place and just be with Bella.

_**EPoY**_

Mom had called Charlie to explain what was happening and that, if it was ok with him we were going to stay in Seattle overnight. He was fine about it all, saying that we should stay as it had been a traumatic day for all of us and that we were in his thoughts. So we booked into a nice hotel, not very far from the clinic and we were lucky enough to get a 2 bedroom suite. Mom and dad were really cool about me and Bella sharing the same room - they trusted us when we told them that we were not ready for anything to happen yet, but we kept it from Charlie, knowing he would be anything but understanding and I have enough problems in my life right now, without being shot!

I had to be back at the clinic by 5:30 so we had a freshen up in our room and then grabbed a quick bite to eat in the hotel restaurant. The atmosphere at the table could be cut with a knife and nobody uttered a single word. Not being able to take the silence any longer I was the first to speak.

"Bella, mom, please don't take this the wrong way, but I would like you two to stay here when I go back to the clinic, I only want dad with me" I murmured looking at them both and wishing this could be easier on them.

"Why?" Bella was the first barely able to speak.

"Babe I really just need to concentrate on this assessment, don't you think you would both be more comfortable at the hotel? Please trust me on this Bella" I pleaded, hoping she wouldn't argue with me.

"If it will stop you worrying Edward then I'm willing to stay here" She answered me but was looking at mom to make sure it was ok with her.

"Are you sure sweetie?" Mom said sadly.

Before I could answer either of them, dad piped up.

"I think its for the best Esme. Why don't you and Bella take a walk to Pikes Market, its still nice out and it might take your mind off of things" Dad said as he walked over to mom and kissed her lightly on the cheek, before leading her over to the door of the restaurant so me and Bella could be alone for a few minutes, before we left.

"I thought we were in this together Edward" Bella mumbled

"We are babe, but I really need to do this alone. I promise it will be the one and only time you will not be by my side" I answered, gently trailing my finger under her eyes to take away tears.

"Do you promise to tell me everything when you get back?" She said looking into my eyes.

"I promise babe"

Dad called over to me letting me know it was time to leave. I took Bella's face in my hands and kissed her like never before - it felt so good…

_**EPoY**_

I was instructed to walk at a natural pace, attempting to avoid body contact with any obstacles. My mobility performance would be scored by an O&M specialist, whose name I didn't quite catch and another specialist called Alec, who was present to monitor my safety and to give me instructions en-route.

Alec informed me that I would be assessed on mobility behaviours, mobility errors and body contacts in high and low light sections, that the time would also be recorded and we were to walk about 8/9 blocks.

After about 5 minutes, in which I thought I did fairly well, only the occasional stumble, Alec asked me to find a black plastic garbage bag that was on the sidewalk - I thought he was joking, as I really couldn't see much at all in the dark, but no, he was deadly serious. This was going to be harder than I thought.

I was now starting to panic, because it took me a good 2 minutes to find the black bag and I only managed that by tripping over the damn thing - not a good start. Then he asked me if I could find the traffic cone, which I thought would be much easier - boy was I wrong. I did find it of sorts, only after miss judging the edge of the sidewalk and falling over it. It was a good thing he was there as I would have ended up falling flat on my face.

"Up you get Edward" he said grabbing my arm and helping me up.

"God, this is so embarrassing" I mumbled struggling to pull away from him.

"Don't be embarrassed Edward, I've seen a whole lot worse happen to people whilst doing this assessment" He replied.

After that I started to notice that I was really very hesitant. I knew I was miss judging kerbs, shuffling my feet and I kept stopping suddenly just so I could get my bearings and my balance. Alec seemed oblivious to all of this and just continued with the test.

When he asked if I could judge the distance between where I was standing and the large bushes ahead, I really thought he was playing stupid.

"Of course I can" I replied rather indignantly, and I proceeded to tell him the distance I thought it was - I won't know if I was right or wrong until the morning, when Dr Jacobson reveals the results of this assessment.

"Ok Edward we are now going to cross the street and turn left" Alec said pulling me out of yet another daydream I was in.

When we turned, I felt a decline of the pavement and I really didn't like it. My feet were wanting to do one thing but my eyes and brain were screaming to do something else, and I felt myself stumbling because I couldn't judge the sloping ground, so I stopped dead. Alec took me by the arm again and helped me until we reached a flat surface.

"I'm not doing so well am I?" It was more of a statement than a question.

"You really don't expect me to answer that do you?" He laughed.

"No" I said rather shortly.

We walked a few more blocks when Alec informed me the assessment was finished and we were back at the clinic. I thanked him for saving me from breaking my nose more than once and went to find dad.

"How did it go" Dad asked tilting his head as he waited for me to answer.

"Fin.." I was about to reply when he stopped me.

"Do not say your fine, please - I know you are anything but fine Edward" Dad shouted.

It was very rare for dad to raise his voice, so him shouting took me by surprise, but made me realise that maybe I needed to speak about how I'm feeling.

"I scared shitless dad. I really don't think I did that good tonight - I know my night vision and depth perception is defiantly shot after nearly falling over twice earlier and I dread hearing what the doc has to say in the morning. But what I'm scared of most dad is Bella's reaction" I murmured, unable to speak, this was probably due to the manic urge I had to scream if my mouth opened to wide.

"Son, you know in your heart of hearts that what ever Marcus tells you tomorrow will not make a bit of difference to Bella, she loves you too much" He stated, smugly.

I knew what he said was true, but it still hurt to think that I would never be whole for my Bella.

The drive back to the hotel was really quite, with dad trying to make small talk every now and then, but I wasn't in the mood to chat, I just wanted to get back to Bella.

Bella and mom was waiting for us in the room. I ran into my Bella's arms as she stood in the doorway of our room waiting for me and I had this inherent need to touch her, kiss her and lay in her arms. I only feel complete when I'm with her - God how I love this woman.

"Edward" she whispered as I picked her up and carried her into the bedroom.

I turned to let mom know I would talk to her in the morning, but I just caught the tail end of her and dad entering their room - I knew they needed to talk too.

Bella didn't say a word as we both sat on the bed, she just looked at me as I took my glasses off and placed them on the bedside table. I turned to face her, staring blindly in her direction and without uttering a word kissed her gently.

"You don't have to tell me right now Edward, it can wait until you are ready" Bella said pulling away from my lips.

I didn't answer, but I moved closer so I could feel her sweet smelling breathe on my face. In a split second we were kissing again, only this time with more passion - I could kiss her for an eternity and still want more.

Explaining to Bella what had happened earlier was going to be difficult for me to put into words. I felt a failure and lacking in something, that I fell short of what was required or expected from me. I knew the time had come for me to spill the beans.

"I really didn't realise that my night vision was effected that much Bella, I never seem to have too much trouble at home" I spurted out.

What Bella said next kinda threw me.

"Sweetie you _do _have a great deal of trouble at home and even more when you are out at night, but being in familiar surroundings you just don't take that much notice." Bella stated.

"I was ok when we went camping, except for the fact that my glasses were not the right prescription" I started to say but was interrupted by my Bella.

"No Edward, you were not ok and when it started to get darker it was a struggle for you to cope! If you just take a minute to think back, you will remember that you got through it with our help" She was now lovingly stroking my face.

It took a few moments for this to register in my brain, then, like a slap around the face it all fell into place, I had been having trouble for awhile - why didn't I notice this?

"Why didn't I notice this happening Bella?" I asked, some what perturbed.

"Because you probably didn't want to Edward. I think you might have pushed it to the back of your mind, not really wanting to admit that anything was wrong" She answered sounding very confident. I really didn't have an answer to that - my Bella knew me so well!

Mom and Bella's little trip earlier had been very productive. We all had something to sleep in and new clothes for tomorrow - how women manage to think of such things even when their minds are on something else is beyond me!

After changing we both settled down in bed, with my Bella exactly where she should be - in my arms.

"I love you Bella Swan" I whispered.

"Love you too Edward Cullen, forever" She mumbled through a yawn.

I forgot all my insecurities for awhile as I lay there with her asleep in my arms, so just for tonight I not going to worry, there will be enough of that being done in the morning.

_**EPoY**_

"As you know Edward walked 8 blocks, each consisting of natural obstacles and strategically placed items. He was then assessed on three main things - mobility behaviours, mobility errors and body contacts and these tasks presented some difficulties" Dr Jacobson informed us.

"What are the results of these tests Marcus" Dad asked nervously.

Dr Jacobson raised his eyebrows at dad as if to say - patience Carlisle, but then answered him.

"In the tests, Edwards most frequently recorded mobility errors were high stepping and kerb approach errors, shuffling and hesitations were also recorded. The majority of the increase in body contacts occurred in low light, and he brushed against street lamps with his arm or shoulder. In the higher lighted area Edward had problems with under stepping, this being due to the depth perception issue. His mobility behaviour showed that when on a decline he started sliding his foot forward to investigate the path tactually and showed an excessive slowing of pace. The O&M specialist, Alec, had to intervene during travel to ensure Edwards safety more than once. These problems have to be addressed, Carlisle, and soon"

"What can we do to help make it easier for him", mom asked wary of his answer.

"Esme, even minor adjustments will help Edward. Little things like extra lighting at home would help when he is reading and doing school work. Colour adjusting can be made so that white crockery is on a darker colour table cloth, using different colour towels if you have light coloured bathrooms and so on. Before you leave I will give you some pamphlets that will give you more helpful tips"

"Thank you Marcus, is there anything else that will help him" She said slightly happier.

"Yes Esme, there is, I suggest he use a guide cane when he is outside at night"…

"Oh please God no" I heard my mom cry out.

My brain was screaming for me to say something, but my mouth wouldn't work. As much as I tried to speak, not a thing would come out, that was until Bella squeezed my hand tightly.

"NO! I don't need it. I'm not blind, I can see and I do not need some fucking white cane to get where I'm going. I won't use it" I screamed at him.

I felt like I was going to throw up or pass out and I was really having trouble breathing. Then this soothing voice started to speak.

"Edward hunnie, please calm down and just listen" Bella said softly.

"Son, Bella's right just try and focus on staying calm and let Marcus continue, please" Dad begged.

I just shrugged my shoulders, held mom's hand and concentrated on trying to breathe.

"Edward, a guide cane is used to detect kerbs, steps, things on the sidewalk, all of which you are having enormous difficulties detecting on your own. If left to your own devices it could lead to you being injured in some way" Marcus stated.

"Will he need to be trained on how to use it" Dad managed to ask without completely falling apart.

"Some, but as it has a more limited use than a long cane it will require a lot less training, probably only a few hours. We could do it today if you want Edward" Marcus replied looking at me for a reaction. So I gave him one.

"Am I legally blind yet?" I almost growled at him.

"No Edward you are not, but you are what we refer to as visually impaired and your vision is, as you know, worse in low light. If you don't want to use the cane Edward, then so be it, I can always give you some knee and elbow protection pads for you to use" He sarcastically replied.

I wanted to punch something, preferably his face, but instead I just got up and walked out, without a word to anyone - I needed some time alone. I knew mom and Bella would be beside themselves, but this is what I needed.

As I sat on the bench in the parking lot, my mind was in total disarray. I couldn't quite get a grip on myself and before I knew it I was sobbing uncontrollably. All my fears and insecurities twirled around in my head. As I started gasping for breath I heard this beautiful melodic voice filtering into my brain. I looked up, and there kneeling before me was the most precious person in my world - My Bella.

"Are you ok sweetie" She whispered taking my hand.

"I not sure babe - I really can't get my head around what is happening. This is moving forward way to fast"

"Edward hunnie, we knew this was going to happen someday"

"Yes Bella we did, but not this soon. I'm a week away from my 17th birthday and my vision is that bad that I've been advised to use a guide cane at night - happy birthday Edward! What will I get for my 18th - a fucking seeing eye dog?" I sobbed, not being able to look her in the eye.

"Edward, I really don't care if you have to use two pink poodles and a grizzly bear to guide you. If that's what it takes to stop you from getting hurt, then so be it!" Bella said with a positive voice.

As usual my Bella was totally in control of the situation and my minor breakdown. My shouting and cursing went over her head and she even managed to calm me some what.

"Now lets go back inside and just listen to what the doctor has to say - we really need to understand it all" She said, trying to pull me up from the bench.

I knew she was being logical, but all I wanted to do was go home and forget all about this drama, but Bella was having none of it.

So we headed back inside the clinic to the doc's office, where we found mom, dad and Marcus discussing my cane training. As soon as we were in the door, mom stood up from where she was sitting and threw her arms around me, and clutching my neck she began to sob hysterically. As I tried to pacify her dad came over and took her by the hand leading her back towards her chair. Bella sat beside her and tried to console her to no avail. It took mom ages to calm down, but she managed to do so with the help of dad.

I moved to the seat opposite the doctor and waited for him to speak. I didn't have to wait long.

"Edward, there is one more important thing that we need to discuss today"

Shoot from the hip doc?" I answered him without a second thought.

The feeling of loss, hopelessness and anger, lots of anger travelled through my body and mind. I felt that my ability to succeed and have a normal life had been snatched from me - when he uttered twelve little words…

"I'm sorry Edward, but I will have to revoke your drivers license"

**A/N: Please don't be mad at me for the abrupt ending of this chapter but it didn't seem right to end it any other way. Chapter 8 will be a lot happier and you will find out what Edward did to upset Bella - I promise.**

**I had to put in the visit to the opticians - it happened to me once. Some young **girl on** work experience was so rude to me that I wanted to pop her nose, if I could have seen it...**

**Until next time x**


	8. Chapter 8

**Ok lets get this out of the way - I'm so sorry for the delay in posting this chapter, but sometimes things in life just don't go the way you want them to.**

**Edward & Bella will both give their POV in this chapter. It has a bit more angst than usual, but it had to be added. I did say this would be more up beat, but it just didn't work out that way.**

**Chapter 8**

_"Edward there is one more important thing that we need to discuss today"_

_"Shoot from the hip Doc" I answered without a second thought._

_The feeling of loss, hopelessness and anger, lots of anger travelled through my body and mind. I felt that the ability to succeed and have a normal life had been snatched from me - when he uttered twelve little words:_

_"I'm sorry Edward, but I will have to revoke your drivers license"..._

**Edwards POV**

It's been three days since my visit to Seattle and three days since I have left my room, except to grab a quick sandwich from downstairs after everyone had gone to bed.

Sitting here all alone I have had time to think about my future - what future? I can't even drive now. All I managed to focus on was the white guide cane that lay on the couch, taunting me - it has been there since I threw it across the room the day I got home from seeing Dr Jacobson. Is this what my life is going to be from now on, dependent on someone? I can't see past this nightmare and to cap it all, I have refused to see my Bella.

She comes over every morning and sits outside my bedroom door, just waiting for me to answer her endless questions, but I can't. Bella is the reason I breathe and now I can't be the man she deserves.

**Bella's POV**

Three days, its been three long and lonely days since I have seen Edward or even heard his voice. I talk to him, but he doesn't answer me. I have tried to get his attention by sitting outside his bedroom door every day and talk to him, but nothing, not a God damn word does he reply. I have to think of a way to get him to open his door, because at this moment I need to be in his arms, comforting him.

"I thought we were in this together Edward". I whispered knowing he could hear me.

"We both knew this was not going to be easy, but we can overcome it, its just going to take time" I sat there waiting for him to say something, but not a word. Realising he was not going to answer me any time soon I decided to go home.

"Sweetie I'm going now, but I will be back in the morning ok?" Again nothing.

As I walked slow down the stairs feeling totally dejected, I heard voices coming from the kitchen, so I popped my head around the door. Sitting there with his head resting on the table was Carlisle. Esme was standing behind her husband, her arms snaking around his neck trying her best to console him. As I entered they both looked up and it was then that I noticed their puffy, red rimmed eyes and the look of defeat on both of their faces - its the same look that has been on my face for the last three days.

"Bella darling come and sit with us for awhile" Esme said standing up and pointing to the seat opposite Carlisle .

I pulled out the chair and did what I was asked. I sat there watching Esme wringing her hands over and over, while Carlisle looked like a man who had been condemned to a life in hell. It was breaking my heart to see them like this. I really didn't know what to say or do to ease their obvious pain and distress.

After what seemed like hours Carlisle calmed down enough to speak.

"Did he talk?" Carlisle asked.

"Not a word" I replied rather nervously.

"We need to get him out of that damn room, I refuse to let him stay in there and fester. Does he not realise there are things we need to discuss?" Carlisle yelled banging his fist on the table, making me jump. I have never seen him like this, he always had such control.

"Please sweetheart calm down, it will only make it harder on everyone if you don't. I really don't think I can take it anymore and I know that Emmett and Alice are having a hard time trying to deal with it all!" Esme murmured through her sobs.

"I'm sorry my darling, but its breaking my heart to know I can't do a damn thing to help him. I have to talk to him Es" Carlisle replied as he stood and lifted Esme onto his lap.

While I sat there waiting for Carlisle and Esme to compose themselves and feeling the love generating from them I had this inherent need to be with Edward. The feeling rushed through my body like a lightening bolt and I knew I had to get into his room, it felt as if my life depended on it. Without a word I was up and running, taking the stairs two at a time. I skidded to a halt outside his room, taking a deep breath I spoke.

"Edward I need you" I cried.

Before I could utter another word I heard what sounded like a stampede coming up the stairs. It all happened so fast - I didn't see Emmett until he was standing outside Edwards room. Then all hell broke loose.

"Little brother you best open this door now or I will knock it down" Emmett threatened as he banged on Edwards door and he looked like he wasn't surprised with Edwards reply.

"Fuck off Em I'm not in the mood to talk"

"I'm not going anywhere dickhead, so just open the door and lets get this over with" Emmett growled.

Edward didn't answer in words, but something smashed against the inside of the door - this really pissed off Emmett and I could see his temper rising. I had to say something to stop this.

"Em please just let it go, he will come out when he is ready" I sobbed trying to pull him away from the door, but he seemed oblivious to the fact that I was there.

"Hey Eddie, I hope you are proud of yourself, not only have you managed to make your girlfriend cry constantly for three days, but you have also got mom and dad so upset that they can't even look at each other without bursting into tears - way to go bro" Emmett spat these words with such venom that it scared me.

Emmett turned from the door and noticed me standing there shaking with fear. Taking me in his arms he tried to explain his actions.

"Bella, he has to hear this. I can't live like this any longer - he is my baby brother and I love him with all my heart, but he needs to know how much he is hurting those close to him. Mom is on the verge of a nervous breakdown, dad hasn't been to work for 2 days and Alice is having fucking nightmares - you have seen the state they are in". He stopped to take a breath but before I could answer him he turned to face the door again and began to speak to Edward once more.

"Edward, you promised me you would not withdraw yourself from us, but that's exactly what you are doing" Emmett was saying through tears of anger.

I actually felt a little uncomfortable listening to this conversation (admittedly it was one sided) but my feet seemed to be glued to the spot. Emmett was now sitting on the floor with his head resting against Edwards door. His tone seemed a little softer when he continued talking.

"Edward, its not that bad bro - so you can't drive" Emmett started to say, but a reply came from the other side of the door from someone whose anger was at its limit.

"YOU DON'T KNOW ANYTHING" Edward screamed.

"Em just stop!" I shouted, but it fell on deaf ears, as he obliviously wasn't finished yelling at Edward.

"That's where you're wrong Edward. I know that what ever this life throws at you, how ever bad, you have a family and a devoted girlfriend that will be right by your side to get you through it" He stated.

We both sat there wondering if Edward would reply. Emmett was still leaning against the door and I was sitting opposite him. I could hear that down stairs Alice was asking Carlisle and Esme what the hell was going on, but I didn't hear their reply because in that moment Edwards door flew open.

"Hey little brother you finally managed to get your head outta your ass long enough to open the door" Emmett smiled.

Edward just ignored him and turned to face me.

"Bella" he cried.

"I've missed you sweetie" I replied, taking his hand, waiting for him to take the lead – I didn't want to rush him.

"We need to talk Bella" He stammered.

**Edwards POV**

Sitting on the floor of my room listening to all that was being said on the other side of the door was making my brain hurt! Hearing my Bella sob and her pleading with Emmett to leave me alone was breaking my heart, but in my infinite wisdom I thought it best to just stay inside my little 'room of doom & gloom'. That was until something clicked in my head - this might have had something to do with the fact that my pigheaded, know it all brother was letting me know that I was doing – I was hurting the people that loved me. I had to do something NOW.

Flinging open the door and stepping over Emmett as he fell backward into my room, ignoring his sarcastic remark I held out my hand toward Bella and spoke her name.

"Bella" As her name left my lips I began to cry, mainly because I had missed her so much, but also for the part of my life that was never coming back.

"Baby, I'm so sorry" I whispered as I led her to my room, all the time I was wondering what the hell I was going to say. How did I explain that our lives were going to change massively? I knew we had been over this time and time again, but it has finally hit home and I had to say something.

Still holding her hand, I walked her over to the bed and gently sat her down. She opened her mouth to speak, but before she could utter a word I walked over to the couch, picked up the guide cane and slowly un-folded it. Standing there in front of her with the dreaded thing in my hand I knew what I wanted to say.

"This is how its going to be from now on Bella - are you ready for it?" I asked, not being able to look at her as I was terrified of what I might see in her eyes.

"Do you really think I'm that shallow Edward, seriously? If you think a white cane is going to make me run screaming, think again mister, I'm here for the duration - do you understand?" She shouted as she paced up and down - oh she was angry, really angry, but I had to make sure she knew she had the option to walk away.

"Bella, listen to me, please". I said through gritted teeth. "I need you to understand how this will effect your life as much as mine, it will be different, I will be different and I want you know that I will understand if you want out" I stated, but Bella was having none of it.

"I'm not stupid or naive Edward, I know things won't be easy, but you won't be any different. Your limitations make you who you are, the person I am in love with. I wouldn't change anything about you, even if I could. Please don't make life unnecessarily difficult for yourself Edward" She said, calming down slightly.

I must have been delusional to think my Bella would react any other way. She was the one that always made sense. Never would she let me wallow in my own self pity for too long. In my heart, I knew Bella didn't care what society thought, nor would she try to justify the unjustifiable, she just loved me the way I am, and for that I would be eternally grateful, but I still had some insecurities that I couldn't shake off.

"Come here you silly boy I need to hold you" She whispered

"My love, my life, my soul mate" was all I managed to say before she kissed me like she never wanted to stop.

Falling on the bed, we continued kissing until some much needed air was required. I removed my glasses and placed them on the bedside table before turning to face Bella, we both knew things needed to be said and I was the first to approach the matter in hand.

"I don't want to use a guide cane" I blurted out, sounding rather like a spoiled brat.

"Ok hun" She she replied calmly.

That was not the reply I was expecting and it threw me somewhat.

"So you're not going to lecture me?" I asked, truly stunned.

"Nope, that decision is all yours sweetie"

I quickly sat up, fumbling for my glasses so I could see her clearly. Waiting for my eyes to come into focus, I looked at her face for any signs that she was joking, but she lay there totally calm and straight faced. As I waited for her to say something, her mouth started to turn up slightly and a devious grin appeared. Sitting up she started to speak.

"Edward, I can't make you do anything you don't want to do, you are to damn stubborn for that to happen anytime soon, but I will try and help you see the facts clearly - ok?"

"I am not stubborn" I retorted.

"Not stubborn eh! Says the man that would rather fall over and bust his nose than use something that would make his life easier" She laughed before continuing her little speech.

"You have a serious visual impairment Edward and whether you like it or not you need some help, especially at night" She stated, bluntly.

"Do you or do you not have limited night vision and a rather big problem with your depth perception?" She asked waving her hands at me, waiting, I assumed for me to answer, but not really giving me a chance to reply. I just managed a quick nod in agreement as she was on a roll and wouldn't let me get a word in edgeways.

"And do you agree that this could cause you to make dangerous errors?" Again she didn't wait for a single word to leave my mouth before she continued.

"You are unable to distinguish between flat surfaces and steps. You have also been known to trip over an uneven slab in the sidewalk when its dark babe" She whispered.

"And your point is?" I mumbled, knowing I was acting like a child.

"You have to accept your own limitations and abilities Edward - because I already have"

I was struck dumb, not only by the words my love had just spoken, but also from the lump that had formed in my throat making it hard for me to speak. As I struggled to form a coherent sentence, Bella slowly removed my glasses and pushed me back down on the bed and was now hovering above me I still hadn't uttered a single word, but now I felt it was time.

"How do I overcome this mortal fear that I'm going to fail at everything and lose you in the process" I stuttered, trying to keep myself from breaking down.

"You will never lose me Edward. I promise you with all my heart and soul I will be right by your side - always"

Her answer soothed me, but I still need to let her know exactly how I was feeling.

"I'm embarrassed by my disability Bella. I hate being singled out in school for being different and now having to use a cane is just mortifying, but most of all I feel I will never be enough for you" I was now sobbing.

"Don't ever think for one moment you are not enough for me Edward Cullen - you are all I want, all I have ever wanted. I adore you, but if you ever mention it again I will kick your ass from here to Seattle, understand?" She really had a way of making me laugh even at times like this.

"Yep I think that has registered in my lame brain sweetheart" I chuckled.

"Edward, think of it this way, being legally blind is not a disability, but just a new way of looking at the world. Yes, it is part of your life, but don't let it rule your life." Bella stated as she wiped away my tears.

"And as for being embarrassed about using your cane, I'm sure you would be more embarrassed if you tripped over something and ended up sitting on your pretty ass." This time she laughed and I couldn't help but join in.

"When did you become so grown up?" I asked.

"I was born this way" she giggled, pulling me up and placing my glasses carefully in my hand. As I put them on and started to focus she whispered.

"I think you should be somewhere else right now, don't you?"

I knew I had to apologise to my family, but all I wanted to do was stay here with my Bella. She was my moon, my stars, my reason for breathing. Just being close to her makes me feel at ease and I know I will feel this way for all eternity.

**Bella's POV**

I knew Edward was stalling, so I took the lead. Taking his hand I literally dragged him towards the door.

"The quicker you get down there and apologise, the quicker we can come back up here and be by ourselves" I said hoping it would make him move and from the look in his eyes I knew it had done the trick.

"What do I say Bella" He asked.

"The word sorry springs to mind sweetie" I replied sarcastically.

"Will you stay with me - I'm actually quite scared of the reception that's waiting for me" He laughed nervously and I knew he was terrified.

"Always Edward, always" I answered as I kissed his cheek and told him I loved him - for the umpteenth time today.

I could feel the tension in Edwards body as he hesitated before walking into the living room where his family were waiting.

"Come on babe you can do this" I whispered, literally pulling him in the room.

"Lets get this over with" He replied. And with that all eyes were on us...

**Edwards POV**

Walking into the lions den - that's what it felt like as I stepped forward to apologise to my beloved family. I knew full well that they would be angry with the way I had handled this entire situation, but deep down I knew they would understand.

Mom and dad were sitting on the sofa looking absolutely drained - now the guilt was weighing heavy on me.

"Mom, dad, I'm sorry" I said, trying to keep myself together, but failing terribly.

"Son, we couldn't possibly understand what you are going through, but you need to open up and let us know please" Dad pleaded.

"I will try to explain just how I'm feeling - be warned, it might take some time" I smiled as I felt Bella squeeze my hand in encouragement. She took a seat next to my parents as I sat on one of the foot stools. Feeling really exposed, but ready to let my family in to my world.

"I feel really angry and emotional right now and I'm having trouble trying to come to terms with all the uncertainty of a life as a visually impaired person. I'm scared of what the future holds and I'm embarrassed of my disability. I know is that my life is going to change dramatically, but so is yours. I just need some time to adjust and learn how to deal with it all." Feeling totally exhausted after opening up to all my loved ones, and waiting for their reaction was gut wrenching, I felt dizzy and nauseous.

"Edward, I just want to let you know that we are here for you, to listen to you and be supportive of you. Any time - day or night that you feel the need to talk we will be available. For such a young man, you are so courageous and we are extremely proud of you my darling son" Mom said through her tears as she pulled me in her loving arms.

"I know mom. Thank you for putting up with my dramatics over the last few days - it will not happen again" I replied holding her tight and really never wanting to let her go.

As I sat there with my beloved family I realised that I _was_ worth something. I knew that sitting around wallowing in self pity was the problem, not the solution and I would, from now on prove to them all that even though this is a significant issue, I have not changed as a person. Quite simply its a blow and I am devastated but it could be worse and it's not the end of the world.

**A/N: I hope it was worth the wait? I just couldn't get it to flow grr... Its still not what I really wanted to say but as I have re-written this chapter 6 times I needed to get it out of the way.**

**If you can please leave a little review. Until next time x**


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